To my someone

I’ve been a little absent on here, just because sometimes I get very caught up in either my head or being out and about. Most recently the former.

I am very late posting about the blurt meet but I’ll probably do that later or tomorrow.
Right now I just had something in my head and I wasn’t quite sure where to put it so I figured here would be a good place. I guess it fits loosely in the ‘spoken word’ category. Or an open letter. 🤷‍♀️

To my someone
I don’t know why I know you
Faced with so many accounts of who you are and what you do.
I still have my own version that differs so drastically at times, yet I cling to it.
Because I know you
Maybe not so well as you know you
Which is frustrating because you seemed to know me so much better than I did, or do.
I don’t know why you know me but you know me better than people who have spent years in my presence..or absence.
I’m still on the journey to realising all of myself but with every passing moment the only constant that I can absolutely not deny is that I love you and will no doubt do so until my dying breath. Whether in your absence or presence no one has ever touched my heart the way that you have and I smile when people tell me I could ever feel this way about anyone else because I have never in my life met anyone who would put so much effort into loving me.
Basket case that I am it’s so much that at times mainly due to my own issues, reactions, behaviour or habits I feel very undeserving of it. I might not always like the way you do it but I can always or mostly understand the whys...eventually.
On some days I need your arms around me so bad that anyone that attempts to substitute even just in friendly greeting feels so wrong I wince inside.
But then on the days I need your arms around me the most, I feel them there anyways, whether that be truly you or just my own projection of the sensation of having your inexplicably familiar arms there. Who knows. Maybe I will have all the answers...one day.
I feel like I already know how it would feel to know your lips on mine. But deep down I know that as with pretty much anything to do with you, if the moment ever arose, the reality of it would be likely far more intense than I anticipate......no pressure 😬
I wish for you good things every day, wherever you are and whoever your with.
Always and forever yours
S
🖤