Making friends after 40- it's a struggle

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Making friends after 40- it's a struggle

As a 40 something your old male, it is definitely hard to make new friends. In my twenties I had boundless time and exposure to others that made making friends easy. making friends in your forties is not impossible but it is hard and it can be done using the same formula that we used in our twenties.

It's been said that friendship needs time, a shared space and memorable activity to take root. It was so simple to make friends as a kid and in your twenties. The same cannot be said for the busy 40s. in my twenties making friends was like falling off of a log I was simply be in proximity to other people strike up a conversation and join up on a Friday night with whatever was going on. At that time we had inborn things in common, we have shared space at the dormitory and we had a lot going on on campus it was easy to make friends.

As we age we become more set in our ways. We become intolerant of bullshit- not in a bad way or discriminatory way it's just we are accustomed to certain things in our lives. Our lives become busy with work and family and sometimes those overlap. we also become less likable sometimes because we get more stuck in a rut. we become used to a certain routine and if we're busy we will completely Miss and gloss over events. instead of being open to going to events and meeting new people which takes energy or content to sit on a couch watch Netflix and just veg out. This will not result in any new friendships.

So what is one to do if they want to make friends in their 40s? It's going to fall the same formula as the way we used to do it in our twenties. What we need is time to devote activities, a shared space or hobby and Goodwill towards others. Friendships are created in a friendly environment and with a friendly aura of good nature. You need to be open, approachable, vulnerable and good-hearted which we often hide behind the veneer of self protection. when we put up walls we make ourselves a lot less friendly which in turn makes us friendless.

We need to make ourselves approachable and we need to have things going on. Meetup.com has a lot of good events and it's always good to join a church or another Civic institution and get exposure to others. I found that men's groups and sports leagues are great for making friends later in life. We also need to make sure that we are acting friendly which includes smiling, participating in any kind of social activity and not taking ourselves too seriously.

I wish you the best of luck in making new friends in your forties I know it's hard. When we have families of our own to take care of and kids we know that we become a lot less open to making friends- we just don't have the time. Take the time out of your busy schedule to try to make some friends because it's totally worth it.

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