Why you behave in ways you hate can be a tricky question to answer. You may be tempted to blame your family, your friends, or your work environment for your problems, but it's likely that you are the cause. Fortunately, the solution is within your grasp.
A good way to start is to figure out the reasons for your irrational behavior. In some cases, this will involve investigating your childhood to learn about the earliest seeds of self-defeating behaviors. For instance, if you were raised in a strict religious household, you might have had a negative view of others who were not following your beliefs. This can lead to a judgmental attitude later in life. Similarly, if you had a hard time adjusting to the conservative ideas of your parents, you might find it challenging to make the necessary adjustments to your own values.
The best way to stop your hateful tendencies is to identify the source of your ill-advised thoughts. Sometimes, it's a person, other times it's something you did. If it's a person, try to limit your interactions with them. Also, take a deep breath and think of a positive thing to say to them.
In other cases, you might want to consider going to professional help. Your doctor or counselor can help you determine the root causes of your problem and offer solutions. They can also help you change your behaviors. However, if you are experiencing a significant level of hate, you may need to turn to a more drastic means.
For instance, if you feel you are being belittled or slandered by your coworkers, you should consider seeking help. People with hateful tendencies often unconsciously manipulate other people. Often, this will occur when you're feeling down or upset about an incident. When you feel this way, you might try to avoid meeting new people or doing your best to impress your colleagues. As a result, you may be less likely to do collaborative projects, and you might even be more reluctant to participate in social activities.
Another savvy tactic is to use a distraction strategy to take your mind off of your negative feelings. These tactics include reading a book, exercising, or watching a movie. There are many ways to distract yourself, and you can pick the best method for you.
It's a good idea to recognize the fact that there are two kinds of hating: a) Hating in the right context; and b) Hating in the wrong context. Oftentimes, hatred is a result of a painful or confusing experience. Trying to relive that trauma or deal with the aftermath can lead to feelings of anger, betrayal, and desperation. Getting some help can be the best way to overcome hate and learn the coping mechanisms to deal with it.
As you can see, stopping your self-defeating habits isn't always easy, but it's worth the effort. Using the techniques mentioned above, you'll be well on your way to finding the cure for self-hatred.