When you feel threatened, people tend to react in different ways. They may not listen or even acknowledge your thoughts, and they may blame you for their problems or their behavior. You may even notice that they try to justify their behavior. Here are some ways you can spot the signs of a defensive person. This article covers some of the most common types of defensive behavior and how to identify them. Once you have identified a defensive person, you can try to address the root cause of the problem.
Image Source
Silent treatment
If you've ever been the victim of silent treatment, you know that it can be demoralizing. It strips your partner of the ability to talk to you and collaborate, and can leave them feeling powerless. Usually, when you feel this way, you will go to extremes to reclaim the verbal aspects of the relationship. Often, silent treatment victims end up feeling frustrated and confused and cycle through anger and resentment, preventing them from moving forward with the relationship.
Gaslighting
If you are experiencing gaslighting, avoid addressing the issue alone. Instead, bring a neutral third party to the conversation. Ask them to observe the exchange and not be drawn into the conversation. If you can manage this, you will have a better chance of dealing with the situation without being validated by the other person. Moreover, using more than one person to discuss the issue will help the gaslighter avoid being exposed and exposing themselves to further manipulation.
Ad hominem attacks
An ad hominem argument is a fallacious argument that tries to discredit an idea by attacking the person making it. Ad hominem attacks take many forms, ranging from calling someone a hypocrite to questioning their motives. However, they all end up in the same place: the audience gets defensive, but the speaker does not acknowledge the fallacy. Ultimately, this tactic will not advance an idea.
Childhood trauma
Children need a safe, stable environment to develop. Their bodies are constantly under pressure, so their parents' role as the physiological and emotional regulator of their lives is crucial. Childhood trauma affects the nervous system and affects the development of many areas of the brain. Children internalize these skills as they mature, so identifying and addressing childhood trauma in a child is essential. If this behavior persists, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.
Mental illness
Sometimes people who suffer from mental illness will act in a defensive manner, which has a root in their own experiences. These individuals may worry about what others think about them and become triggered when others criticize them or ask them a question. They may even imagine having an awful illness and have a difficult time trusting others. Fortunately, there are many ways to recognize if someone is suffering from mental illness.
Image Source
Getting defensive in relationships
If you're prone to getting defensive in relationships but not acknowledging it, you're not alone. Your partner is probably feeling the same way. Perhaps you're frustrated that your partner is ignoring your request for the bathroom to be cleaned. Or, your partner feels hurt because you're avoiding his or her comments. Regardless of the cause, it's important to acknowledge your partner's feelings and show that you respect and love them.
