- Reframe Unwanted Thoughts
Your brain only has one thing going on at a time. You may be having a negative thought right now, but that doesn't mean that the entire rest of your brain isn't working hard to solve a problem. In fact, it's probably even using that same problem-solving strategy to figure out what you should be doing next.
When you think about something, your brain actually splits the thought into two parts. One part focuses on the specifics of the thought and one part works on the bigger picture. If you're having a negative thought, you're probably focused on the negative details of the thought. That's why you're thinking negative thoughts.
The trick is to reframe these thoughts so you focus on the bigger picture. You can reframe your negative thoughts by changing your perspective. For example, you might see a bad review on a website and instead of thinking, "Wow, they've never liked me before." You might think, "Wow, someone really dislikes my product, or my marketing strategy." You could even change the language you use to describe a negative situation. Instead of "that place sucks," you could say, "That restaurant was horrible." This will keep you from being trapped by negative thoughts and helps you remain optimistic.
- Change Your Beliefs
Believing in something and then acting as though it's true are two different things. While believing in something is a great start, actually acting on that belief can be much harder.
The first step to changing your beliefs is to identify which beliefs you currently hold. For example, let's say you believe that women are naturally more sensitive than men. Now, it's easy to think of someone who is sensitive and realize that he or she is a woman. However, it's much harder to identify the belief you hold that makes you assume that all women are sensitive.
To uncover your belief, take some time to write down every possible reason you could think of as to why you believe this. When you think of a possible reason, try to list as many reasons as possible. For example, you might come up with the following:
"Because I'm a man, I should only date women who are sensitive."
"Because I'm a woman, I should only date men who are sensitive."
"Because I'm a man, women are sensitive because I am."
"Because I'm a woman, women are sensitive because I am."
"Because I'm a man, women are sensitive because men are sensitive."
"Because I'm a woman, women are sensitive because men are sensitive."
Now, read over each of the statements and ask yourself, does this sound right? Do you really believe these things? Once you've read through your list, it's time to move on to the next step.
Very important.