Self-compassion isn't new. But self-compassion is important. In fact, in my own life I've realized that I am most effective when I am kind to myself. And why might self-compassion matter to us writers? Here are a few ways:
Self-compassion builds resilience and gives us the courage to stick with our work when we are feeling vulnerable.
Self-compassion increases empathy and compassion for others. This means that we're better listeners and communicators.
Self-compassion improves well-being and reduces stress.
In this article, I'll share with you some strategies for practicing self-compassion. And I'll also explain why practicing self-compassion can have profound benefits for writers.
STEP 1: Begin with Compassionate Language
When we speak to ourselves, we often use self-critical language. For example, we might tell ourselves, "You don't deserve to write because you're such a horrible writer." When we take time to notice and correct our own thoughts, we can then apply more compassionate language toward ourselves.
Begin by noticing the phrases or words that make you feel critical toward yourself. Then, try saying something kinder. For instance, you can say something like this: "I am beginning to see that I'm making judgments about my writing ability. What if instead I let go of this judgment?"
STEP 2: Become Aware of Your Own Needs
When we practice self-compassion, we're paying attention to our needs and feelings. And this leads us to be more aware of our own needs. This is an incredibly powerful skill because it helps us understand our needs and to be more conscious of our needs and emotions.
To practice this skill, notice how you feel when you are experiencing pain or vulnerability. We can't always be aware of our emotional states, but we can try to become more aware of them. Try taking some time every day to notice your moods and emotions.
STEP 3: Find Your Support Community
We often feel alone. And sometimes, we can feel lonely even when we are surrounded by people. But being alone isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it allows us to think and focus inward.
To cultivate community, seek out a community that feels supportive and encouraging. You might find yourself among friends, family, colleagues, mentors, and/or peers in a writing group. This kind of support community is especially helpful during the times when we feel we can't imagine going on or when we feel stuck.
By working toward cultivating self-compassion, we can find comfort in knowing that we can't live our lives without it. So, practice self-compassion now, and reap the benefits in the long run!