When I was in school, I took a class on the psychology of anger.
The first thing the teacher explained was that, when we become angry, our bodies release a hormone called cortisol which has the effect of reducing our self-control. It also makes us feel aggressive.
After that, he told us the rest of the story.
We humans are social creatures, and being social means we need to have relationships. But when our relationships don't go well, we can experience anger and hostility towards those we've been interacting with.
This hostility can result in a pattern of acting aggressively or even violently towards others, which causes them to dislike us as well. This, in turn, creates a vicious cycle, where we have more trouble forming relationships and making friends, because everyone hates us.
So how do you avoid falling into this cycle?
Well, first of all, it helps to understand how anger affects you.
Anger is not an emotion; it's a physiological reaction. Once it sets in, it's very hard to stop, no matter how much reason you have. And unlike emotions like sadness or happiness, anger does not have a pleasant feeling attached to it.
So when you find yourself feeling annoyed, frustrated or even angry about something, you need to try to remember that what you're experiencing is only a momentary state. It will pass, and then you will once again be calm and collected.
Think of it this way: imagine your mind is a little boat that's floating on a lake. When you get mad at someone, the boat becomes larger and heavier, and it starts moving with the current.
But this boat doesn't want to stay at one place. So when you lose control, it moves away from its destination and into some other, unrelated place.
It's only when you let go of your anger and return back to the original, peaceful state that the boat returns to its original weight and position.
There is a way to let go of the negativity, though, and to prevent it from taking hold in the future. And that's by forgiving someone.
You might think that forgiving someone for hurting your feelings is too easy to do, but you'd be surprised.
In the book, Forgive for Good, author Dr. Brene Brown explains how forgiving someone doesn't mean giving them another chance to hurt you. It means letting go of the resentment and anger, and allowing yourself to move on.
So how can you practice forgiveness? Here are some tips that you can use right now: Take note of what you're feeling.
Ask yourself whether or not you are truly upset about the situation. Remember that you might only be upset for a short period of time, and then the feeling will pass.
Forgive yourself if you don't agree with the other person's decision or behavior. You can't blame them for how you feel. Remind yourself that the other person isn't the enemy. If you're getting mad at them,