In my work many people come and talk with me about their problems of life and there is one pattern that comes our very commonly in most of them which is the unresolved trauma of their childhood times which leads to creating problems in their life as adults also. Even during my visits to the child care centers I come across many children who have been physically or verbally abused by someone or the other in their family. When these children are not able to speak about their feelings around it then as they grow up these incidents go deep down into their hearts as painful memories and it keeps reflecting in their adult life in some or the other way. They also tend to pass it on their future generations if they are not mindful about it.
The best therapy to deal these traumas is to listen to them compassionately. Sometimes as a therapist we may not be able to do much about it, because what's happened in the past cannot be changed, there are times when justice can also not be sought because of the lapse of time. Then what? Talking it out and releasing it from within and doing the self-work is the only way out. We hear about generational traumas which keeps getting passed on from one generation to another. Unless one does not recognize and acknowledge it, the pattern continues. In such a case, one generation has to take this tough stand of healing themselves thoroughly and not pass it on any further.
Some time back a girl had come to me to talk about her health issues, deep down there was an emotional block that she was stuck up with. She was physically abused by her own uncle and her mother did not stand up for her and did not even allow her to speak up to anyone. She is a middle aged woman now but yet she cannot get over this pain. It is not easy to let go off these memories but at the same time one has to make a conscious effort to heal and let it go only then we can move forward in life, else these patterns of pain, guilt, shame, fear keeps repeating in our lives.
Today in the war zone area there are so many children who are going through some of the most traumatic experiences we cannot even imagine and I always wonder what is their future going to be, how will they ever come out of it. Will they ever be able to speak about it and confront it. Some may and some may not and this is how from one generation to another we are losing the human touch and empathy.
There is a saying that time heals all wounds but in reality some wounds are so deep that an entire lifetime passes and they are not healed.
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