Dealing with Abusive Relationships

All Relationships need a certain level of understanding, compromise and a work around to maintain it. But important is where does one need to draw a line when it comes to compromising and making it work.
Toxic relations can for sure create a lot of havoc not only in the time when we are in the relation but also after it is left behind. It can take away our ability to think, act, be happy, and not only that, it will leave us in an emotional drain.

This is a case of my friend who has Relationship issue. She was dating a man who was already two timing her and she was not aware about it until very recent. But even before she got to know of this she had already ended the relation because of his ill behavior towards her. But she is so much traumatized with the whole experience that it is more then a year she has ended the relation but she still can not get over the scars of it.
In the time of their relation he used to abuse her verbally, degrade her and treat her very disrespectfully. It is also sad that she allowed him to go to that extent and gave him the liberty of treating her so poorly and shabbily.
After ending the relation also she still cannot get over the trauma that she faced with him, and this is bound to happen if any abuse is taken up for a long time.

Source

I feel that in a relationship the basic requirement of Respect if it is not there, the whole relationship is baseless and fake. When one does not hold respect towards another person it shows their low level of morality and character.
There is no extent of tolerating any type of abuse be it physical, verbal or emotional. The very first time when it happens it is a signal of danger and one should take it seriously not by compromising but by taking necessary actions to stop it and prevent it from happening again. And if it happens again and again means the person is habituated to that type of behavior and it makes no sense to continue in such relationships.
In India the ratio of abuse is very high, specially with the females. They keep tolerating with a hope that things will get better, it will change and sometimes it takes away their whole life with that hope. Suddenly then one fine day they end up in depression and break down completely.

It is so important to learn to say No, to push back at the right time, to speak for yourself when it is required, take help at the very first time rather then just hoping that the silence will change the behavior.
The major issue I feel is also lack of self-love, when you lack in that you can allow yourself to be used up, get abused by another person. If you love yourself dearly you will know where to stop and move out rather then tolerating and getting drained out.
When 2 people are in a relationship it should be all about love and respect towards each other. Then ups and downs will always be there and can be managed together, but tolerating an abusive behavior and continuing the relation is just as good as slow poisoning or committing suicide.
A Healthy relation is a key to healthy life. I hope you find my blog useful and informative.

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