When you resent another person for their actions, the feelings you experience in your mind are so strong that they block you from being happy. Forgiveness can actually change your whole mental health.
I don't believe we can truly forgive anyone until we are ready to let go of resentment, but I also know that our minds play tricks on us and we often can't see things for what they really are. It's easy to resent someone and believe they deserve what's happening to them, but deep down we don't want that for them, even if it seems like that's what's really going on.
Here are a few simple tips to help you let go of resentment.
Take a Break
Take a break from focusing on the resentful thoughts. Get away from the situation or start doing something completely unrelated. The break can be as short as two minutes or as long as an hour, and it doesn't matter how long it is. If you're at work and you need to finish something, then simply close your office door and leave for a few minutes.
Be Honest with Yourself
There are times when we resent others because we feel hurt or hurt ourselves. If you've ever experienced physical abuse, then you know how strong emotions can be. In these cases, your negative feelings can become self-fulfilling prophecies. They become your truth and when you keep repeating this negative idea over and over again, it becomes easier to accept. The same applies to the emotions we experience with our loved ones.
Think of a time when you were mad at your friend. Did you think about how he or she was wrong, and that he or she deserved what happened to him or her? Now imagine what that thought process would look like if you were feeling this way towards yourself. What does that mean for you?
Ask Yourself Why
If you can find the reason why you resent someone, then you can use it to turn your resentments into compassion. This isn't about punishing someone, but helping them. When you ask why you're so upset with someone, you begin to think about what's really going on. You think about your thoughts, and you try to understand how they're impacting your life.
Once you find the source of your resentments, you can then decide how you can forgive them. If you realize that your resentments stem from your thoughts, then you can use that insight to forgive.
Be Compassionate
This is where forgiving really comes into play. When you become compassionate, you allow yourself to feel the feelings that you're experiencing, while not letting them control you. When we hate someone, it's hard to truly forgive them. But when you let go of resentment, you begin to show compassion. You're not just thinking about the other person's actions, you're thinking about the effect it had on you. By becoming more compassionate, you'll learn to be more forgiving.