It's never easy to lose someone you love. There is no easy answer as to how to move forward in the aftermath of death. But the way that you deal with grief is also the way that you will help those left behind heal.
Here are some strategies I've learned through the process of losing my mother:
- Don't take yourself to heart.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't grieve. You should and you should cry often. But it does mean that you can't blame yourself for her death. Don't make it about your pain. She has gone and you have to find a way to move forward.
- Find a support network.
Your friends and family will need your support during this time. They will need to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. This isn't a time to keep things to yourself. You don't want to feel alone and isolated. Reach out to them. Reach out to others who will understand what you're going through. This is a time to find others who will support you.
- Let go of anger.
Don't be mad at those who were there when she died. Don't be mad at the person who hit you. Anger only causes more damage. It is better to forgive those who hurt you, than to hold grudges.
- Let it happen.
It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to feel angry. It is okay to be hurt. And even though I wish that I would have been more prepared for my mom's death, it is okay to not be ready for it. As hard as it is, sometimes you have to let things happen the way they will.
- Allow yourself to grieve.
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't feel sad for your mom. It's true that you can't take her with you, but grieving doesn't mean that you can't feel sad. You may need time to mourn, but you also need time to heal.
- Be proud of who she was.
The last thing I want you to do is stop loving your mother. She was a remarkable woman. And she has inspired me in ways that I'll never forget. Her accomplishments will live on forever, and that should give you peace.