There’s a lot of confusion about assertiveness. The truth is, we’re all assertive. We assert ourselves from time to time. And we have every right to, even when it’s tough. But being assertive isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes, it’s downright scary.
Let me ask you a question. Why do people act so weird when they’re nervous or anxious? Because they don’t know what to say. They feel like they’re being pushed into making bad decisions and they want to hide behind “non-assertiveness.”
So how does this apply to communication? Well, let’s take a look at the opposite side of the coin. What happens when people are assertive? They tend to talk a little too much, they can come off as rude or pushy, and they feel like they can’t back down.
Of course, if you’re confident, you know that you don’t have to be assertive all the time. In fact, sometimes it’s better to be a little quieter. There are times when you need to communicate with subtlety and delicacy. You don’t want to over-share, and you want to avoid being overly aggressive.
But that doesn’t mean that assertiveness isn’t a good thing. Being assertive gives us a lot of power, especially when we need to speak up for ourselves and defend our position.
So let’s get back to that first question I asked you earlier. Why is assertiveness a good thing? Well, assertiveness can make the world a better place. It’s easier for others to understand us when we are assertive. They’re less likely to see us as selfish or untrustworthy. They’ll treat us with respect instead of fear.
And if that’s not a good enough reason for you, let’s take a look at another benefit of assertiveness. Sometimes, assertiveness can save lives. For instance, did you know that some experts believe that assertiveness is the key to keeping your loved one safe?
When someone is angry or defensive, they can be unpredictable. That can lead to serious injuries or death. If you can show them that you’re not going to back down, it can change their behavior. If your loved one knows that you have their back, they’re much more likely to listen to you.
Here’s another example. Imagine you’re the last person to see someone before they got hurt. Would you be able to do anything to help them?
Would you even try? Or would you be afraid that if you spoke up, they might walk away? That’s where assertiveness can be really useful. People can get hurt by being too timid or too hesitant. As a result, there�