Grief comes in all shapes and forms. It’s a universal experience, a natural reaction to loss. Everyone grieves differently and some grieve for a very long time. But grieving well – for whatever reason – is critical for moving forward. Let's first understand what grief is, and then I'll cover some strategies to cope with grief and get moving again.
What is grief?
Grief is often associated with loss and sadness, but it also includes an array of emotions including anger, fear, denial, guilt, regret, and loneliness. Grieving can come in waves.
In some cases, it takes days, weeks, or even months before we feel like ourselves again. And then it often recurs in the form of periodic bouts of sadness and melancholy.
Why is grieving important?
Grieving allows us to move forward. We may feel stuck in the midst of our loss, unable to make decisions, and unable to move on. But if we allow ourselves to truly grieve, to express the full range of emotions and feelings, then we can begin to find our way back to the person we used to be.
Strategies to cope with grief
A grief counselor can guide you through the stages of grief, help you develop coping skills, and give you strategies to help you move past the emotional rollercoaster. It may be helpful to think about what’s keeping you from moving forward – are you holding on to anger, fear, or guilt?
- Embrace the present.
It's easy to focus on the past or the future when you're feeling anxious and sad. But right now, today, is the only moment you can choose.
Accepting the present, accepting the fact that things are how they are, means that you can take control of your life again.
- Accept your emotions.
Grieving can be painful, and we can sometimes try to numb our pain or deny what we’re feeling.
That means that we aren’t able to express how we feel, and that can affect everything.
We're unable to communicate effectively, we're unable to make plans, and we might not notice that we're being held back by a bad attitude.
Accepting your emotions means accepting where you are right now, instead of waiting until you're in a better place to deal with them. It takes courage to do this, but it’s the only way forward.
- Connect with others.
When we're going through a hard time, it can be really helpful to connect with friends and family who care about us. It’s a great way to take care of ourselves, and to help us cope with the stress of the day-to-day.
In the long run, this makes us stronger people who can handle anything that comes our way.
- Let go. This is an essential part of moving forward. We all have things that we hold on to.