For good people like you, it takes years of unpleasant experiences to learn that saying no is perfectly acceptable and rational at times. Even though they might not realize it, those who are constantly there for others when they need them become less valuable. It takes some time to comprehend even that, and by the time you do, the water has already risen to the surface and your good intentions have nearly drowned you.
Although the saying "drown in kindness" may sound pleasant, in reality it only means that you're being used. The nasty fact is what it is, like it or not. We're not suggesting that you start acting harsh and portray yourself as a person who is unyielding, unhelpful, and constantly refusing—we're just saying that you should be aware of your boundaries. No matter how beneficial something is to your life or health, anything that goes beyond a certain point has negative consequences. Likewise, you may experience all the misery you wish to avoid if you are always too friendly.
In order to understand how kindness can make you go all the misery, you must swallow these harsh realities like a bitter pill.
⦁ Your value diminishes
You did indeed read it right. You will lose value if you are constantly available to people, even if they are close friends and family. You'll eventually need to be available to people at all times if you can't learn to say no. Even if you're doing them a favor, it gradually becomes a burden for you, and rather than seeing your value, people are genuinely cruel enough to ignore you and treat you like you're nothing.
⦁ Happiness won't last forever.
It's because you never prioritize yourself and are always going in the direction of other people's drum beats. Helping others in whatever tiny manner you can will make you happy, no doubt, but if you are overly considerate and prioritize other people's wants and desires over your own, you may not always feel as content as you should.
⦁ Other people will exploit you
There aren't always kind and appreciative people in the world. In fact, we fear that good people may be in danger of being extinct because their numbers are so few.
Joking aside, folks will take advantage of you if you're approachable and consistently show kindness. It's not required to have a good, solid, or compelling cause to refuse something. Even if you don't feel like executing the task that someone has requested you to complete, you should still say "no."
If you are among the few kind, and compassionate individuals who are reading this essay, you are aware that you enjoy saying "I'm sorry" when you are genuinely too busy with your own important and pressing tasks to assist someone else. Even when you create a small trouble, you have a habit of saying "sorry." Unintentionally, you'll start calling yourself names, acting condescending, and projecting an image of someone in a submissive position.
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