It is true that when creation is revealed to all, it becomes separate from the Creator and becomes the property of the people. Many such nights have passed, and I may have returned home overwhelmed with joy at receiving a reward. And then I discovered that a critic wrote that I should have been given raw bananas instead of prizes! Anger, rage, then, it seems, raw bananas and critics — both of which should be skinned and given to monkeys as gifts! In such moments I give up for a moment, but it never lasts. When you are broken, when the whole world despises you, there is only one way to survive. And that is to grasp your true self. The world can't understand you, it can misunderstand you. But at least you have to know yourself.
In my case, it was like a strange compromise. I act like myself, I want to do it, again I have to keep in mind what the audience expects from me. I have to do my best at the same time, but I also have to take care of the responses of the people I'm working for so that I don't get upset. I try not to be derailed. No matter what goes on inside, I'm just smiling outside, signing autographs. Sometimes it feels like I'm standing on the side of a road and acting. My visitors are the pedestrians, who are clapping their hands at me a little jokingly, a little kindly and a little contemptuously. But no matter who the audience is, I know my inner being is watching my performance, applauding me for doing a good job, laughing at my nonsense. So I say, learn to recognize yourself, never lose faith in yourself. Never give up on your life. There is nothing that you can do about it that will hurt you.