The Myth of 'Happiness is a Choice': Understanding the Complexities of Well-being

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"Happiness is a choice" is a statement that I would be extremely wealthy if I experienced a nickel for each time I heard it. This has probably been spoken to you at some point by someone in your life. Additionally, you are not alone if it caused you to feel self-conscious.

We rarely have the power to pick the circumstances and events in our lives, so while we may decide how we respond to them, we do not always have complete control over our happiness. Thus, when is "happiness" something we can manage and when is it something else? Keep reading to learn more.

Imagine receiving a low review at work or a dismal score on your midterm exam. You may either learn from the feeling and determine what type of assistance you'll need to perform better the next time, or you might dwell on your shortcomings and blame other forces for your poor performance.
However, most people choose to remain optimistic when faced with difficulties or misfortune. Actually, you may practice this skill.

It has been shown that the idea of "resilience" is a reflection of mental wellness.It has been demonstrated that resilience, which is the capacity to persevere in the face of adversity, can prevent the onset of mental disease in the future. It is also possible to cultivate and enhance resilience, so you can "choose" to be resilient, which will probably make you happier in the future.

Additionally, "happiness" may represent how you relate to yourself. When you make a mistake, do you spend days berating yourself, or do you accept that everyone makes errors and forgive yourself? Do you get up, brush oneself off, and then try to find a way to improve the situation, or do you wail, "Oh, woe is me," and bemoan the universe that has so obviously cursed you as everything goes wrong? If there is something that you can do for yourself or for other people that will truly improve your situation, choose to do so will probably increase your level of happiness.

Since you can usually manage it, choosing to treat oneself with compassion and forgiveness can go quite a distance toward achieving and sustaining pleasure in your life. Therefore, it is the case that you may make decisions in your life that may render it easier to be happy, even though the saying "happiness is a choice" is a cliche and narrow-minded one that implies you should never be miserable.

The definition of "happiness" is difficult to define because it varies from person to person. Is there nothing to gripe about? Is it feeling happy most of the time or all the time? Is it having lots of money, being in a committed relationship.

Consequently, we should not condemn others for not being happy when we believe they ought to be, or for having an alternate view of what pleasure is. Nothing that is obviously "wrong" is necessary for someone to be unhappy; nobody can truly know what another person has been going through that could be affecting their happiness.

In other words, even when conditions appear good on the surface, there are always a number of reasons why they might not be. Given that we are not putting ourselves in other people's shoes, who are we to judge who should be cheerful and who shouldn't?

Additionally, what makes you happy might not be what makes someone else happy. For some people, having a strong support system of friends is more significant than possessing a large fortune, while for others, financial stability may be the key to happiness. Both are legitimate! However, this also implies that different people have different ideas on what "happiness" is.

To someone who is depressed, the statement that "happiness is a choice" totally ignores the very real and difficult symptoms they are going through. Is it actually the case that someone who is depressed has "selected" to experience that way? That they would deliberately chose not to be happy if they had the "choice" to be happier? No.

Nobody desires to feel depressed. "Happiness is a choice" is something you should never say to someone you know who is depressed. It isn't to them. They believe that happiness is unachievable, a minimum of until their melancholy episode passes. Nobody can will themselves out of a bad mood.

It's difficult to be content when you're not sure where you'll get your next meal or whether you'll have enough money to cover your rent the current month. And while it is undoubtedly possible to be optimistic in the midst of hardship, placing it within the framework of "happiness is a choice" significantly lessens the struggles endured by people who are desperately poor.

By making "choice" the central concept, we reduce these situations to a binary: you can either are pleased or you are not. And it's not that easy in life. Happiness is a spectrum, not a single point, as the expression "happiness is a choice" fails to acknowledge. Rather, that renders "happiness" a final goal that is readily attained—but it isn't.

When you tell someone who is starving, a regular income to paycheck, or homeless that "happiness is a choice," you fail to acknowledge how overwhelming and naive the "choice" of "happiness" would be. It is my belief that many people would doubt the sanity of someone who lived in terrible poverty and claimed to be truly "happy." That's because we are able to distinguish between "resilience" and "happiness"—between enjoying a difficult circumstance and finding actual enjoyment.

Furthermore, while it is possible to experience true happiness while dealing with challenging situations, it is harsh and callous to tell someone that "happiness is a choice" when they are going through a terrible time.

It is implied by the statement "happiness is a choice" that one should decide to be happy. Presenting "happiness" as an option, however, is illogical if it is not a realistic expectation given the circumstances, such as a person fighting a fatal illness.

Remembering how powerful they are and just how much they value you instead than telling someone with a chronic disease that "happiness is a choice" would help people focus on the good without the unwarranted pressure to maintain "happiness."

Members of the LGBTQIA+ or BIPOC communities experience disadvantages that the general population does not, such as an increased likelihood of mental illness and a poorer socioeconomic level and prejudice. In one of these cultures, telling someone that "happiness is a choice" overlooks all of these danger signs and measurable drawbacks. It would be absurd to claim that you couldn't be glad as a member of a minority community, yet it is also naive and unfair to remark that "happiness is a choice" when someone shares a story of racism or discrimination they have encountered.

In other words, it says, "You should have reacted differently," rather than, "They shouldn't have done that to you." This shifts the burden of accountability from the person who was discriminated against to the person or individuals who committed the discrimination.

Even though we can frequently change how we view the things that are happening to us, whether they are good or unpleasant, the adage "happiness is a choice" is a pointless and narrow cliche that hardly ever considers larger contexts. Furthermore, admitting that happiness is a personal decision does not adequately represent the complex and challenging reality that most of us live in, even though it is possible for almost anybody to feel joy at a certain point in their lives.