The Illusion of External Fulfillment: Finding Lasting Happiness Within Ourselves.

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Finding someone or anything outside of ourselves to alter our internal feelings will always result in disappointment, resentment, loneliness, frustration, and sadness. The search never ends with the same outcome. After purchasing the newest vehicle, a new home, taking a romantic cruise, or spending time with our most recent amour, we could experience momentary joy or an uplifted mood. Getting married or finding a life partner can also make us feel complete—until they break our hearts.

We cannot find long-lasting happiness by searching for other people, places, things, financial money, or a position. To find out about the latest split of the most famous couples, the suicide of a wealthy and well-off person, the unintentional overdose of a prominent musician, or the worldwide fall from grace of someone who is in trouble with the law due to covert, sinister actions, all it takes is a few minutes of news viewing or social media browsing. We anticipate the object of our affection to be flawless and possess attributes that no one else can have when we search for sensations of worth outside of ourselves. Our heroes are never perfect, just like us. Upon realizing this, we get resentful.

Both contemporary and traditional societies have conditioned us to view other people as a means to a goal, as someone who makes us happy, without acknowledging or embracing them for who they are, warts and all. Every interaction we have with other people, including those with our spouses or life partners, families, and even our kids, is influenced by this programming. We want each of them to reflect our perception of them. This makes us oblivious to their true selves, resulting in unjustified conflict and animosity between the two sides. Everyone is aware of when they are not loved and accepted without conditions. Our bones are able to sense it. Our loved ones can sense that as well. True relationships are formed via acceptance.

We must first understand and love ourselves before we can find happiness and mental tranquility. Our entire lives have been shaped to follow orders from others at the expense of our own identities and desires. In order to gain the acceptance of others—parents, bosses, kids, society, money, and more—we have learnt to have smaller dreams and sacrifice ourselves. We no longer trust our inner voice because it has been overpowered by the numerous demands of other people. This is at the heart of our never-ending quest for happiness and tranquility outside of ourselves.