At one point of time in my life I was always feeling very frustrated, I was always confused as to what is it that I want to do in life. Questions like "What does life want from me? What will make me Happy? What will make me feel better? would keep popping up. I was never in the moment, would never feel happy with what I would be doing. Always in search of something. Felt like there was always an empty space within me. I would experience a lot of anxiety and have a feeling of separation, it was like I was there but not there. Anything that I would do seemed very meaningless to me. It was not that I was sitting idle, there were many things that kept me occupied, my job, family life, daily routines, everything was there but still there was something missing. At the end of the day the satisfaction quotient was missing from my life.
I knew that there was something missing in my life, and if I would get to know that, I would be happy. But the biggest question was what was that missing quotient in my life. I would spend good times with my family and friends and would feel happy also, but it would all be momentarily. The next day again the same emptiness would hit in.
Then came one opportunity in my life. The opportunity of Service, it was one day that I visited one of the slum areas along with some volunteers and worked with the children out there, it was not something that I had ever thought of doing. It just happened accidentally. A volunteer friend of mine checked with me if I would be interested in visiting one of the days as they were running short of volunteers. I said yes, not knowing what exactly I was doing.
I visited the place and it all went ok, I was not overwhelmed or anything like that, but there was some little spark within and I was just feeling good about the visit and with the time I spent over there.
Over the next few days the feeling started growing on me, I was lingering on the memories of that day and I had a strong pull of visiting there again, so the next time I again checked with my friend if I could go and spend my time with the kids. She agreed, and there I was once again with them. The kids recognized me since it was just a week's gap and they expressed so much of happiness, now this time it got a little overwhelming for me as I did not expect this kind of welcome from them. After the second visit I was feeling even more better, some type of inner peace was building up. I was feeling happy and I was looking forward to going again. I am not an early riser and visiting these kids was a Sunday morning affair. I realized I had no trouble in getting up joyfully and going there. It was all happening so smoothly and effortlessly. I was going with the flow and feeling happy with what was happening. It became a routine for me and I was feeling that empty space within me slowly shrinking down. I was feeling good with myself. The joy of those little faces would bring so much joy to me.
I started realizing that the emptiness that I was feeling was going away now, and it was by getting involved with a larger purpose in life. By thinking beyond me, till such time, it was all about me. Now I was going beyond me and doing things for totally unknown people and that was bringing so much joy to me.
I have seen a lot of people struggling like me and I always give them advice that try to look beyond you if you have these kind of feelings, it is not always necessary that it will be an answer to fill up those empty spaces in your life but it will surely bridge up the gap somewhere.
It just takes away your little time, but against that the joy that you can bring to someone is immense and cannot be explained in words. Giving a helping hand is one of the best happiness of the world one can get. We are living in a fast paced world where no one has time for anyone. Many a times I see people do not even know who is their Neighbor, we get so busy with our ownself that we forget that there are many who need our support.
So today if you can put a thought around How Can I be Helpful? and see what the answer pops up in your mind, probably that's what is the most required from you at this point of time. We are all in this school of life at different grades waiting to move up grade by grade with our efforts. There is no one lesser than us and no one more than us, it is all about different experiences that we are all going through. Being a part of each other's experience and each other's growth is my definition of Spirituality.
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