Transforming a Paralyzing Force (Fear) into a Protective Ally

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I'm the type of person who can justify fearing practically anything. Furthermore, in the past, experiencing terror meant stopping all activity. I was afraid to pursue interests that I had and opportunities that seemed like they would be excellent for personal development. I was afraid to do.. well, most everything, actually. My dread dictated how I behaved and what choices I made. I laugh today, but it's true that I was an anxious child. I was always concerned about what might go wrong.

At times my mother said to me that she could recall how scared I had been even as a young child who shouldn't have cared about anything. It seemed odd for a child with no real commitments or expectations to be worried rather than afraid. Always anxious and apprehensive. My strong relationship with fear and its destructive and limiting effects didn't become apparent to me until I was in my twenties.

The initial aspect of my association with my fear was that it held complete authority. My actions were determined by it. I would have desires to say, do, attempt, or explore in a different way, but fear would intervene and say, "No way." Nothing is taking place. Consequently, it wouldn't occur. Meekly agreeing with fear, I would withdraw or stay indoors. I did a lot of avoiding (and consequently lost out on a lot). I tried to overcorrect at first when I understood that fear governed a significant percentage of my conduct. My first wish was to become completely fearless. Fear turned into an enemy that I had to vanquish!

That is, I believed. Thank goodness, I was surrounded by smarter and more experienced people who advised against taking this course of action. They clarified that it is not beneficial for us to strive to completely eradicate and choke fear. It may even have the opposite effect, making what I fought continue.

Fear is not always a terrible thing. Unbelievably, fear approaches us in a constructive way. It aims to protect us. It makes an effort to shield us from damage and injury. Fear wishes for our well-being. Embracing our fear was crucial in situations where survival depended on it thousands of years ago. Fear originates from the earliest region of the human brain and was literally vital during the early stages of human evolution from hunter-gatherers to more advanced species. When the feeling started to surface, we had to be aware of it since ignoring it could lead to our goals being achieved.

We no longer live in nomadic communities that are in danger from other tribes, untamed animals, or the weather. In first-world countries, most of us have little trouble surviving on a day-to-day basis. However, we still possess that innate dread that is always on the lookout for grave dangers. Furthermore, it doesn't really matter if there aren't any. When there is no real threat, a portion of our brain continues to function. It's still looking for danger, but in a world where few things endanger our lives, what constitutes "danger" varies depending on how frequently we encounter it.

Instead of being stalked by lions in the undergrowth, we now enter social crowds where we don't know anyone and are uncertain if we'll be accepted. Fighting to completely eradicate fear is ineffective. Fear is ingrained in our nature; it is not something we are designed to be fearless. It's among the most enduring aspects of our identity. With all of this knowledge, I had to ask myself, how could I alter my relationship with fear if I couldn't overcome it? How could I regain control over it such that it could no longer dictate to me what actions to take or not take?

I could learn to live with fear rather than suppressing it or battling it. I could accept it for what it was—a component of who I am. I could get used to saying, "Fear, thank you," and even accepting its goals. Thank you for wanting to keep me safe. I appreciate your desire to protect me. Regards. It is not necessary to cede control of anything in order to acknowledge it. In this instance, I could see that my fear had lost power over my actions, even if I still valued and accepted its opinions. I still get scared all the time. Even with it chattering away, I manage to get where I'm going.

Remind your fear that you have the power. Reclaim the ability to make decisions and take actions that are in line with your values, goals, and aspirations for your life and business. You can do and enjoy more if you can transform your relationship with fear. After all, you are the one who chooses what you want to accomplish, who you want to collaborate with, and how you want to leave an impression.