Trauma is a Nightmare even when you're awake. In fact it makes you stay up all night. It haunts you everywhere you go. It made you too fragile that you kept your walls high enough to protect yourself. It's fine. you're feeling is valid. but Trauma response is often mistook as self-healing process . It could be confusing at times. It could be a double-edged sword. What may appear as healing could be at times be a survival mechanism in disguise.
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