Uneducated girl about education

I was 18 years old, and there was a week left until 19, when I withdrew the documents from the Choreographic College. 4 years have passed since then, but I still remain a graceful ballerina with excellent stretching.

As you know, at this moment of my life I don't have any professional education. All I have behind me is 9 classes, and a burnt certificate for this merit.

Leaving the College of Culture was hard for me, because before that I had another abandoned college behind me - medical. But while I left medicine without regret and remorse, I regretted leaving choreography for a couple more years. I regretted it, because it was mine, and I was at the peak of success in training to become a choreographer. I staged good productions, they made me a soloist in the ensemble, the teachers had high hopes for me, and somewhere ahead of me there was a diploma with honors waiting for me.

But in an instant it all disappeared from my life. At my own will.

Then I did not understand with logic whether I was doing the right thing or not, I just felt that studying was suffocating me. I was hoping that by changing medicine to choreography, I would be able to breathe and learn, but it turned out that it’s not about the profession you are studying for, but about education. All education, be it Philology at Moscow State University, be it Social Disciplines in a filthy college in some village, is geared towards cultivating unfree people.

I remember how we plowed in the hall for 12 hours, and still everyone was always unhappy. Not slim enough, not smiling enough, etc. Bureaucracy, arrogance and eternal licking of teachers' asses are not my way of life. And I didn't miscalculate.

By now, after 4 years, I logically understand why I generally have such feelings in educational institutions. Why I am an uneducated girl from the village. And why am I not working now for 15 thousand (rubles, or about 200 US dollars) a month in some House of Culture "Solnyshko" (Sun).

Now I do choreography when I want to, and not when Mary Ivana wants this, who does not care about your well-being, your sore knees and menstruation. She is glad that yesterday she earned money in her pocket from the concert at which you danced. But today she will still tell you with displeasure that you did not smile well enough at the audience and will give you 4 (B grade) for the year and ruin your long-awaited red diploma (diploma with honors).

I don’t know about you, but I am proud of my fearlessness in front of life and the social norms of society. I am proud that I am an uneducated village girl who could not even finish a single sharaga (something like second-tier welding school). And I am proud that at the age of 23 I was able to be not a nurse wiping piss after a festering old man, and not a teacher trying to teach useless children to please people on stage.