Dying of rage

Sebastiaan Stam - Unsplash

How many times would Pilar have said it in her life? Maybe too many, for the so-called universe to take her seriously...

Pilar was her father's favorite child, so when she decided to leave home just after she turned 18, it was a hard emotional blow not only to him, but to the whole family.

She was very much in love with Valentín, her boyfriend since she was 15, who was then 20. They decided to keep it a secret for a while, but love is a betrayer, and a year later, everyone had already realized the relationship.

They were not very comfortable at home, because she was still a minor, but knowing Pilar's character and stubbornness, they decided to make an exception, even though they were not entirely convinced of the seriousness of that relationship, even though Valentín admitted that it was.

When they started living together, Valentín lived in a small one-room apartment, assigned by his job as an engineer in a work that he was leading. For Pilar, at first, that space was enough... because the important thing was love.

A few months passed when bittersweet news knocked on their door. Pilar was pregnant, and while the joy was not long in coming, both considered that it was too soon to be parents. But they advanced happily in this new adventure, and time ran out for them to receive little Rubén, a baby with a light brown complexion and very chubby, who enjoyed excellent health.

Getting used to the new member of the family was a journey, because they changed their habits, their tastes, and their times of doing things. The relationship between Pilar and Valentín had cracked without either of them realizing it.

She started giving priorities to the son, leaving Valentín a little abandoned, who despite his patience, began to feel those absences more frequently. He loved his little family, but he missed feeling that he also had a space in that dynamic, especially because he spent a lot of time away from home.

They sat down to talk about it several times, and they proposed to adjust as best they could, only that Pilar's immaturity did not help in most cases. She did not accept external help either to keep the house, or with the son. She felt that her duty was to be able to deal with everything.

They moved to a larger apartment, with two bedrooms, so that both they and the baby had their space. But even with that Valentín could not make his wife feel comfortable. She remained overwhelmed by everything, and although she had overcome a postpartum depression, the sequelae appeared from time to time, without knowing how to react.

A new work project made them have to separate for a while and although at first she did not want to, Pilar had to accept the presence of her sister-in-law Isabel at home, to help her with the day-to-day and the attention to Rubén.

The project had to be executed in 3 months, and when Valentín said goodbye to her, he assured her that the time would pass very quickly, so that they could be back together. That night, they made love like when they were boyfriends, without thinking about anything else. After that, Pilar was less anxious about the separation.

When Valentín arrived at the first meeting of work he met Griselda, the resident engineer with whom he had to work together. She was a thin girl, with white skin, with long and curly hair of a copper tone that did not seem natural (but it was). His impetus and gift of command impacted him from the beginning, especially because he was the one who was going to lead the work and she only went ahead to express her ideas and plans.

With the passage of the days, the relationship between them became close, they went out to eat after the shifts and they left together to their trailers located next to the work.

Valentine every night made a video call with Pilar, who every now and then cried overwhelmed by everything. He felt that motherhood was too big for him, and although he had the help of his sister-in-law and the baby was very well behaved, she was not satisfied with her performance as a mother.

He tried to comfort her, but from a distance it was very difficult to make her understand that everything was fine. That story was repeated every night, adding to Valentine's extra worry.

When the work is finished, the work team goes out to celebrate and share for the last time together. This day they allowed themselves to drink, without limit or restriction, because the next day there was no work commitment. Valentine, who was not a drinker, had too many drinks. He needed some way to calm the anxiety of what was happening at home during his absence. Between two parthners took him to the trailer.

A silky hand started to take off his shoes, and although he was drunk, he was not unconscious. When he opened his eyes, he saw Griselda, wearing only underwear, who without flinching continued to take off clothes from the prey that long ago had agreed that it would be for her.

The night was short for everything they did. Valentine felt more alive than ever! although guilt knocked on his door along with the first rays of sun.

Griselda said goodbye, with a passionate kiss telling him: "we meet in the next work", and although he really did not have a new offer, he perfectly understood what she wanted to tell him.

When he returned home again, he received unexpected news. Pilar was 3 months pregnant... She did not want to say it by phone, so she kept the surprise for when he returned. His head at that moment was divided between duty and desire, leaving him for a while with the doubt about what was the right thing to do.

And before the doubt, he preferred to walk both ways. During the day he looked for a way to see Griselda, anywhere in the city and savor the pleasure of having her close and doing everything that for Pilar was forbidden, and in the evenings-nights, the father of the family and the kind husband.

Only he did not count on that someone is always watching. And the gossip reached Pilar, who when facing him got a slap: he recognized it without thinking twice. The rest was quick. Valentine left the house.

Pilar was destroyed! With a two-year-old child and another on the way, she really did not know what to do. Going to her family was not an option, because her pride prevented her: she was not willing to hear a hateful "I told you so".

That night, after putting Rubén to sleep, she started to feel bad, when she went to the bathroom she noticed that she was bleeding and with nerves she called the neighbor, who immediately called an ambulance to take her to the hospital.

There was no time for anything, when they arrived at the emergency, a heart attack divided in two a heart that was already broken.