November and December may be frightening months for anyone who has even a small amount of social anxiety. Here's a quick look into the thoughts of a person with social anxiety who is going to a holiday party. There are mountains of anxiousness and nervousness piled on top of one another inside. Concerns regarding who will be present, how to strike up a conversation, especially when it seems like you have nothing to do, and how to carry out your getaway when the atmosphere is negative.
Certain kinds of gatherings are inevitably going to be more intimidating than others, regardless of how your social anxiety shows up. Hence, the dinner party could be a good option for you if you want to push yourself, meet new people, and come away feeling more socially adept than before. I know it goes without saying, but for the most astute and anxious of us, sharing home-cooked meals with your buddies is a comfort. This is why.
You've probably experienced the initial anxiety of trying to find a familiar face to chat with at a party. And when you do locate them, you clumsily rush to them to avoid appearing like a lost puppy? However, you don't feel like interrupting them when that overly talkative college guy you don't really like shows up before you. Now that you're back to searching for a group to join, you're wondering why you came here in the first place while your palms are perspiring and your anxiousness is rising inside.
You might think about throwing a dinner party if you've encountered this particular social scenario a couple of times. For those of us who struggle with social anxiety, it's the perfect opportunity because it removes the burden of finding a conversation partner or thinking of engaging topics to discuss beyond the standard "how are you?" Because they can better display their abilities in small groups, people with anxiety about social situations often excel there. They have the power to make others feel seen, heard, and validated.
Put another way, everyone is seated around a single table and talks and listens in turn. Regardless of whether you're feeling shy or more reserved than normal that night, you'll still be made to feel included. Sitting by themselves with a warm beer, nobody is left feeling like a wallflower. Undoubtedly, there may be a few uncomfortable moments. You'll never get away from those. But compared to conversing with a limited number at a larger gathering, it's simpler to handle. Because the group, not the individual, is under pressure to ease the tension. Anyone can get in and bring up another topic.
Every party requires preparation and organization, but the dinner occasion is a little more formal and encourages greater organization than a typical home party. People with social nervousness may find this structure appealing since it gives them more time to mentally get ready for the situation. For instance, asking the host to bring a guest or ensuring that you are positioned next to the person you know the best or feel most at ease with.
You can choose who gets invited, which is one of the best things about throwing a dinner party. You get to choose who will be there, making sure that everyone has the personalities and vibes you want. A dinner party's charm is that it doesn't have to have an excessive number of guests, if two is a party and four is a mob.
Back to stepping outside of your comfort zone, all right. I suggest that you push yourself a bit by inviting a few people you'd like to know better, rather than just those you're close to, to your dinner party. Even if you are merely a guest and not the host, there is a benefit to going to a party when you only know a few people. Just consider this: spending the majority of the evening seated either next to or opposite from someone you've never met before makes it easier to engage with them. It will be unnecessary for you to worry about if they are bored or want to leave the conversation and go to another area of the room. They have a calm, joyful state of mind.
You still have some control over the scenario when the party is hosted at your house, even if you contact several people you only know. A party may be entirely your own when you have complete control over it, including choosing the guests, preparing your favorite food, and playing the music of your dreams. You get to choose the cuisine being served, the candle smells, and the playlist to create the atmosphere. All night long, you don't have to worry over where the restroom is or whether a strange dog may pounce on you.
Of course, organizing and cleaning up adds a lot of stress, but most of the time, visitors are happy to assist or do a few dishes before leaving. When everything is said and done, you only need to go straight to bed, regardless of how worn out you are from the evening.
People can take breaks during dinner parties, whether they are hosting or attending. It's simpler to take a break and refuel during dinner parties, whether it's by using the restroom, getting some fresh air, asking for assistance in the cooking area, or just concentrating on the food and munching. Beyond just being a "guest," you can play a variety of responsibilities during a dinner party, like assisting to set the table, serving food, or serving as the cook in the kitchen. "A person with anxiety may feel more relaxed and rooted if they find a job or a task to complete."
Stealthily enter the kitchen and do a few dishes as a small act of meditation if the heated debate or the overall atmosphere in the room is overwhelming you. Cleaning after the party will be less stressful because you'll have a cleaner home and a clearer head. If you're not like doing dishes, you can always absent yourself to use the restroom or take ten minutes to relax in your bedroom. Nobody will mind, and they likely won't notice either if the party continues to go well.
I'll be honest with you: throwing an evening of dining can help you feel less anxious around others, but it's quite normal to occasionally feel anxious or unprepared. There is no reason why this should ruin your evening if it does happen. Try handling it in one of these therapist-approved methods instead. Make a Plan for Your Anxiety—Really In order to maintain psychological stability, it is often advised to prepare for anxious periods. "Prep as much as you can in advance to avoid becoming agitated at the last minute." Making as many meals as you can in advance or labeling and organizing all of the equipment can help you avoid having to worry about discovering it.
Ask Your Best Friends for Assistance People love to help, so don't be afraid to ask for assistance if the effort involved in throwing a party becomes too much to handle! "Be aware of any areas where you might require more assistance, such as with food preparation, décor, moving guests from one space to another, or providing an engaging story. Never hesitate to seek for assistance when you need it.
Have a few emergency exits ready. Whenever Required Managing the guests and the atmosphere of the party requires a lot of mental and physical effort, therefore hosting is not an easy task. Remember to take a break for yourself. Assemble a couple emergency exits in advance so you may rest and check on yourself as necessary. Saying "I need to check on dessert in the oven," "I think this set is about to end, I need to go alterations it," or just "excuse me, I need to examine on something in the other room" (no explanation needed) are some examples of how to express yourself when you feel stuck in a discussion or are juggling too much.
Control the Nervous System Sometimes all you need to get through the night is to use those tried-and-true methods for reducing anxiety. Pay attention to what you're breathing. There are a variety of breathing techniques that can help you control your anxiety, like the 4-7-8 technique and belly breathing. Try washing your hands or sprinkling cold water on your face to adjust your body temperature.
Become grounded by using your senses: In the moment, concentrate on listing five things you can see, smell, hear, contact and taste.
What happens if I get anxiety or a panic attack while at my party? Was there a problem with the cooking? Did you drink more wine than you should have and then unintentionally say something you felt embarrassed about? Did you ride out the remainder of the evening in embarrassment because you forgot the name of one of your friends' new boyfriends? Stop there, please. Even if things don't go according to plan, the attendees or host buddies will still enjoy the night and the work you put into it. Overanalyzing everything is inevitable for naturally anxious people, and that's okay.
Breathe deeply and focus on developing self-confidence in your identity and your capacity to be an entertaining partygoer. Although a few things could go wrong, everything will work out. If not, wouldn't it make a fantastic narrative for the next gathering?