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There's a adage-a little grief is further than a grief gravestone. The day I left my mama for the musts of life, crossed the seven swell and thirteen gutters, voided her casket and went to the other side of the world, the day my mama was standing at the other end of the iron gate at the field, gaping helplessly at my departure with dry eyes. I realized how important grief makes people's passions turn to gravestone, how important gashes dry their eyes when they hide their gashes, after my son left home for study and went to the dorm.
Moment I'm realizing the vexation of my mama's dry eyes numerous times agone. When I called, my mama would say,'Why did you grow up? Growing up, everyone left me alone. As a child, you used to lie on my casket in the small room. Now I'm alone in such a big structure, veritably alone. You do not have a father moreover. How long has it been since the frontal door of the house was opened? My day was spent alone in the aft door of such a big house. It feels veritably lonely, mama.'
Looking at the girl's empty room, my mama's words are ringing in my cognizance in the dark of night.
After leaving the girl in the dorm and returning home, a ocean storm swept through her casket. The storm outside can be seen, the storm inside can't be seen indeed if all is landed. It feels veritably lonely and restless except for the girl who's always on her bases. I sit in front of the glass at the end of a purposeless walk from time to time. I'm gaping at the glass. The silence of the graveyard is flowing in the casket. I'm not looking at the face in the glass, I'm looking at the soul. Drowning in solitariness, I see my mama's face suddenly in the half- light- half-dark glass! I see my mama drawing a circle. Mama in the center of the circle. Suddenly, I see my mama sluggishly moving down from the center.
This time I see myself in the center of the circle. From the center of the circle, I can see my mama's face easily, she's smiling. I'm happy to see my mama's face. The darkness is shining around with the scattering of mama's smile. How numerous days latterly I see my mama. I forgot everything and just watched my mama alive. Mother's smiling face gradationally came dirty. Mama is raising both her hands and looking at me with sad eyes. My mama's eyes were so sad, I did not have the courage to look at her a alternate time. I covered my eyes with both hands with my head bowed in pain. I opened my eyes and couldn't see my mama in the glass. I kept looking for my mama. In the meantime, I heard my mama calling me by name to clinch me and pat me. I can hear my mama's voice but I can not touch her. I can smell my mama's body but I can not see my mama.
The time my mama passed down, the youngish family left New York for the country to celebrate Eid al-Fitr with her. A week after the youngish family left for the country, his mama breathed her last on the night of Shabe Kadar. My mama's last request to me was,' Come to the country with Saju ( youngish family). Look at me. How long have you not been coming to my casket, mama? I do not see you for a long time. I want to see you veritably much. Once you come to the country. My heart cries for you, my heart burns.'
I couldn't indeed go to his casket by responding to the tender call of Seba's mama. I promised to go coming time. My mama didn't leave me before she returned to the country.
The mind is wounded and merges like camphor in the wind of exile. Dumb I sat still on the bed. I can understand the body pulsing. My throat is dry, I can not go to the dining table and drink water. Seeing that he was having difficulty breathing, he went to the gallery in a comfortable president with an inhaler and sat down to breathe in the open air. In the gallery of my mind, the words of my mama in the evening are taking the storm one by one. Feeling we've' Run out of gas'emotionally.
I understand, I'm now in the center of the circle in place of my mama. The way I left my mama. My son may leave me and go down one day in need of life. Wondering which fire is hotter? External or inner? Just understand, outside fire can be seen, casket fire can't be seen.
Sluggishly walking the path of the mama. Nature explains all computations like time. Time isn't speechless, time speaks in time. Man is a helpless beast in time. So numerous stories of life, so important horselaugh, so important time, so important anticipation, so important chatter, so important naughtiness, so important joy, so important pledge, so important love শেষে at the end of the day all people are alone among themselves, veritably alone.