A friend of mine was having her wedding, she's actually my crush that I tried securing some years ago, but a smarter guy than I, came onboard and swept off her feet with...money ofcourse. The good thing is that the people who knew that I made advances towards the lady were not around on the wedding day, if not, I would have been mocked to stupor.
So, my Church Unit got invited because she's one of us. The venue is a faraway village from the city, and the village happens to be my village, so I was the one who led the way.
After 1hr 30mins drive and getting to the reception venue around 1:00 p.m., we met them returning from the church wedding. They had finished the Order Of Photography, and we must be featured in the photograph as her church Unit members.
So we quickly went to meet her and told the photographer to give us a group photograph before the day get busy. The photographer concurred and sharply snapped us.
But then, we needed a 'phone snapped' photo to post in our WhatsApp group and I'm always in charge of photography anytime we go on occasions, so I smartly met the chief bridesmaids and pleaded for her to use my phone to take us a group photograph.
With my hand stretched out giving her the phone, she quickly scanned my phone and saw that it's a purple-coloured Infinix phone, and what came out of her mouth was, "Why don't I snap with my iPhone and send it to you later?"
Jeeeez!
With my hand still stretched, goosebumps took over my body, and I was dumbfounded. But the good thing there was that she didn't say that aloud, and I'm sure none of my people around heard that, so I concurred and allowed her to snap with her iPhone.
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She snapped the pictures, and we disseminated to look for our canopy to settle down. After we'd settled, I remembered that I had not collected the photos from her, so I got up from our stand and dashed out to where the bridal trains were standing and taking photos.
We know the culture of "bridal train stuff" in Nigeria, where all the ladies dress in the same style, with the same colour of apparel, handbag, shoes, hair, and heavy makeup (all of them become fair in complexion due to excess make-up, but let me not digress)... I don't know who brought up the idea that all of them must look exactly the same.
As I stumbled in the midst of them, I became confused; I couldn't recognise the lady among them, so I started looking at them directly, one after the other, and I wasn't shy about it. It seems I left my introverted spirit at home that day.
"Oh! Sorry, it's not you," I said to the first one after staring at her eyes eyeball to eyeball for some seconds.
I moved onto another one with my continuous "sorry, it's not you".
After checking like five of them and she wasn't there, I thought maybe I had forgotten her face, so I had to ask the next lady,
"Pls, I'm looking for the lady who snapped us photo with her phone".
She gave me that 'girlie' look like I was trying to woo her before she answered, "Ummm..How is she? Is she fair or dark?"
"Is there anyone dark in your midst?" I jokingly asked her because even the darkest among them turned to light complexion, all thanks to the heavy make-up.
"I guess she's not around then because you've looked around already," she added.
I became confused, and as I was walking away, someone tapped at my shoulder. I turned, and behold, it was her.
"So, you couldn't recognize my face just few minutes after we met" she said with smile written all over her face.
If only I poured out what I had in mind to say to her about the make up, but I just stayed mute because I've had issue with a lady on something like that before.
Not time to waste, I just went forward to the collection of the photos from her phone. She said we should use XENDER, and I remembered that XENDER has not been functioning on my phone, so I told her to hold on while I get another phone to collect the photo via xender, but she suggested sending via WhatsApp.
I was like "Is she trying to give me her number already?", Naaaah! I must do a small shakara(pretence)". I objected to the idea of sending via WhatsApp because it reduces photo quality.
"It's a lie; it'll still look fine," she convinced me with her sweet voice, and she handed the phone to me to type my number.
After typing, I gave it to her, and she asked for the name to save it with.
"Kingsley, please add double 'y' at the end; it's very important," I said with a smile and left.
She sent the photo while we were still at the party, I thanked her on WhatsApp, and she replied, "Uwc dear". Take note of that, 'dear'.
That's how we ended that day, but the chat has not ended...
Thanks for reading
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Published here