Welcome to Sunday funday again.
I am practicing what I preach and as the meme above states, I have not read any news or watched TV all week and weekend and I am happy.
The sun is shining as is my mood and my will to grow an abundance of food this year, that I shall cover another day.
Last weeks competition was won in resounding fashion by @lucylin with his pissing in his pants at an airport story, if you missed it go to the comments section here. https://blurt.blog/contest/@ajerkoff/sunday-funday-contest-competition-thailand
We managed 80 blurt liquid from rewards that will be shared out later today, the recipients will be the above with the winning/lions share, then @clixmoney, @small1axe, @j85063, @nazirhussain.
40 blurt will go to @lucylin and each of the other 4 will get 10 blurt.
This weeks contest is to tell a joke in the comments below.
RULES......
I am going to be strict this time, to get the most entries you "have to reblurt this to enter"....
- .1. Reblurt required.
- .2. No upvote required.
- .3. Tell a joke.
All liquid rewards from this article will be shared with anyone that tells a joke in any language.
1 person will come first and take the largest share and everyone else will share the rest.
We all know at least 1 joke I hope, or as a society we are doomed, humour/humor first, the rest last.
I will lead the way with the below.
I went shopping a month ago.
WARNING! UWAGA!
I went to Tesco in Lublin and when I parked the car in the underground car park 2 scantily clad women called me over, they proceeded to get naked and use me for sex, and they stole my wallet that had no money in it as I had not been to the ATM yet.
I went back the day after with an empty wallet and they did the same.
I have been there 12 times so far and every time they do the same, do not go near Tesco Lublin with a wallet with any cash in it.
Joke 2.
A guy is driving through Nevada and sees a sign along the road with a large cross and the words "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution, 5 miles ahead."
He shakes his head and thinks "I must have read that wrong."
He continues on and a few minutes later see another sign, this one with a praying nun on it and the words "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution, Next Exit. So Good It's Miraculous!"
He decides he has to see this so he pulls off, and following more signs soon pulls up in front of a large church. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an elderly nun. Very embarrassed, he mutters, "Um..I saw a sign by the highway ... am I in the right place?" The nun smiles and says "Of course! Right this way!"
She leads him inside and down many twisting hallways, up stairs and down until he is thoroughly lost. Eventually they come to a large door and she says, "Give me $200 and go through this door and you will find exactly what you came for."
He can't believe this kindly old nun would lie to him, so he hands over the cash and opens the door. The nun pushes him through and the door slams and locks behind him.
He finds himself standing outside at the back of the church in front of another large sign that reads: "Thank you, you have just been fucked by the Sisters of Mercy."
Have a superb Sunday and leave a joke below.
Peace and out.
Let's go on a date...
A new couple planned to go on a date and the guy lets the girl choose the restaurant and sends him the location. Next day she sent him the location and she was waiting for him at Yayoi (Ya-yo-i)restaurant. Time went by, he still had not shown up yet, she couldn't wait for him anymore. So she left but he's still looking for Ya-Yoi restaurant!! (in Thai) lol
LOL. 😀
For a moment there after reading the first line "Let's go on a date..."
I thought you were asking me for a date 😂 All good fun.
LOL Follow your contest, Sunday Funday!! :)
:-)
WINNING THE LOTTERY
A man named Fred arrives home from work early schreeching his car into
the driveway. He runs into the house, slams the door and excitedly shouts at the top of his lungs,"Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The wife says, "Ohmigod! No shit?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
The man yells back, "I couldn't care less...
just get the hell out!"
LOL.
Why do women wear perfume and make-up?
Coz they're ugly and they stink.
Yeh I have a sick sense of humour
Only a lady can get away with that joke :-)
I know that's what makes it so funny hahahaha
I used to be a feminist.
But you are alright now 😂
yeh I'm cured
Thank the lord, like a modern day miracle 😂
oh be quiet
Vladimir is trying to explain to his elderly mother the virtues of glasnost. She complains that she doesn't understand. He tries to make it as simple as possible, but still his mother is confused.
"OK, let me show you!" he says, exasperated.
He walks out into the back yard and fetches two buckets; he fills one with coal. He walks back into the house and places the two buckets on the floor.
"Now watch."
He then pours the coal from one bucket into the other, then places the now empty bucket down with a sense of satisfaction.
"Now do you understand, mother?"
"But... it's the same as before!" she exclaimed, more puzzled than ever.
"Yes... but did you hear the noise it made!"
:-)
I have a friend his name is isreal. Isreal called me on the phone one day and said hello i said yes and as usual i greeted him and the next thing he said was"Do you rthink your girlfriend loves you? I said yes.
Then he said to me could you believe i just saw her hugging someone at the school car park ,i replied and said that is not a big deal then he went on and said infact they even kissed each other.
This really made me furious , i immediately put on my clothes ran from the hostel to the car park and was sweating seriously. On getting there, i found out that the person he said she hugged was her dad who came to visit her in school😂😂.
It was here i knew i fucked up for listening and believing isreal😣
There is a moral to that story.
Microwaved Ice Cream
I thought I had seen it all until one day at a junk store, I was sitting quietly and sipping my favourite coffee and a young guy came in with his girlfriend.
He called out to a waiter to make his orders and I heard something I had never heard of before.... Do you have ice cream? He asked.
Yes sir, we have vanilla, strawberry, chocolate and other flavours, which would you like to order for? the waiter replied
And then he said...
You didn't mention if you have hot flavoured ice cream, I have cold and I don't want something cold... Microwave an ice cream for me!
The whole place went into confusion 😂
Thank you for entering.
Hi, @ajerkoff,
Thank you for your contribution to the Blurt ecosystem.
Please consider voting for the witness @symbionts.
Or delegate to @ecosynthesizer to earn a portion of the curation rewards!
Cheers friend.
Cheers matey !
Three stages of winning a competition .....
Waiting for award....
Seeing award in blurt transfers...
:-)
Gracias por compartir tu publicación en #Blurt. Tu esfuerzo significa mucho para nosotros; por eso has recibido un voto positivo.
Te invito a votar por @blurtlatam como Testigo / Witness
Thank you.
Congratulations, your post has been upvoted by @r2cornell, which is the curating account for @R2cornell's Discord Community.
Thank you.
Also, keep in touch with Blurtconnect-ng family on Telegram and Whatsapp
Thank you.
Thank you very much 😃that was fun.
Welcome, I shared the liquid with all that commented, I ended up paying a little too much out, but it matters not.