Ingredients

Kosher Salt
Vegetable Oil
Macaroni noodles (1 lb)
Milk (1 qt)
Butter (8 Tbsp)
All-purpose flour (1/2 cup)
Gruyere cheese, grated (12 oz)
Cheddar cheese, grated (8 oz)
Black pepper (1/2 tsp)
Fresh bread crumbs (1 1/2 cups)
Note: Be sure to separate any painful memories from the kitchen before you start to cook.

Instructions

Preheat Oven: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. It's going to be okay.

Cook Macaroni: Pour a little oil and a pinch of salt into a pot of boiling water, then add the macaroni and cook for 6–8 minutes. Drain well, holding yourself together the whole time.

Heat Milk: Slowly heat milk in a saucepan, but don't let it come to a boil or think about what happened.

Make the Roux: Meanwhile, add 6 Tbsp of butter to another pan, melt, and add the flour, stirring with a whisk for about two minutes. Add the warmed milk, then stir for another two minutes until thick and smooth. You're going to be all right.

Combine Sauce and Noodles: Remove the sauce (called a roux in French, and goddammit keep it together because we're almost there) from the heat. Add the cheeses, a Tbsp of salt, and the pepper. Focus on the noodles as you add them to the sauce and cheeses, stirring until mixed thoroughly. Pour into a 3 qt baking dish, keeping your hands from shaking and not letting the sobs wrack through your body.

Prepare Bread Crumbs: Mix the remaining 2 Tbsp of melted butter with the breadcrumbs and sprinkle on top of the noodles and cheese sauce. Great job! You're doing really, really well.

Bake the Mac and Cheese: This is the most crucial step: place the pan in the oven and cook uncovered for 30–35 minutes until the sauce is bubbling and the top is browned. You now have 30–35 minutes of nothing to dwell on but your thoughts. Clean the dishes and try not to think about what happened.

Serve and Enjoy: Remove from the oven and enjoy! Yum!