A single female telling you to be kind is all well and good, but when you're truly in love, things might get difficult. According to what I understand, it usually entails more than just having a powerful will; it also entails prayer, rules, interaction, and mercy. Here are some recommendations for seeking chastity when affection and chemistry seem to be working against your better judgment, whether you're in a committed relationship and struggling, not in a relationship but still struggling, or neither but want to be in one day.
BE DEDICATED.
Recognize who you are and who you belong to. Understand why chastity is important. Then promise yourselves, God, and each other that you will work toward chastity. Your resolution won't endure long if you're not sincere. Additionally, it will be really challenging if you are not in agreement. You have a good chance, though, if you're both committed to being holy and maintaining the purity of your relationship. Offer up prayers for one another. Finding a partner is the goal of dating; getting married is the goal of marriage. What are you doing if you're not fervently praying for your lover to be sanctified? Naturally, you should pray for the sake of your virginity, but even more so for your partner's.
I believe it's easier to be prepared to jeopardize the salvation of oneself in an emergency than to jeopardize the soul of an individual you care about and pray for every day. This will remain at the top of your thoughts if you make small sacrifices for your partner's chastity. It will also likely remind you of that desire when other desires try to override it.
INTERCEDE IN PRAYER.
You start to view one another in a more purified light when you pray for purity together. Consider starting every date with a rosary or Mass beneath the Blessed Sacrament. It fortifies you against temptation and establishes the mood for the night. Every date should end in the church if at all feasible. If you intend to.
FAST.
As I have already stated, I don't understand how people can maintain chastity if they don't fast. It provides you physical control in addition to strengthening your prayer. Your body can be denied what it needs more easily than it can be denied what it desires. If chastity is a major problem for you, I would suggest setting aside one day per week1 to skip one or two meals. Fast (until you are hungry), develop self-control, and beg the Lord to deepen your devotion to purity.
ESTABLISH LIMITS.
"We're not planning to have sex" is a terrific place to start, but being chaste is more than just not having sex before marriage. Get together early on and talk about what you believe is suitable at various points in your relationship. Touching something you don't have (stop to make sure everybody understands my euphemism) is perhaps best left for marriage, in my opinion. Perhaps you would like to discuss the ideal number of feet on the ground during a cuddle. Avoid being overly legalistic, but remember that chastity is more than just having sex. If you feel uncomfortable discussing this with your spouse, you may want to think twice about this relationship or whether you're ready to be in a committed relationship. Although it may be uncomfortable, it is worth enduring.
MAKE TIME FOR SOLITUDE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE.
The Church frequently discusses the "near occasion of sin" for a purpose. It's not a good idea to share a bed before marriage, even if you have impeccable self-control. In less severe cases, the standards will be very different. You may need to use greater caution if you have already committed more sexual sin. Some folks I know must make sure they never spend time alone with their partners. They enjoy going to movie theaters, parks, and coffee shops, but they never spend time alone at someone's place since they are aware of who they are.
YOU HAVE TO ANSWER TO SOMEONE.
If your roommate wants to know how your date went, let her know and vow to tell her everything. Request a call from your friend on Saturday morning to inquire about your well-being the previous evening. To make sure the entire process is still sacred, I'll text you at nightfall if you give me your number.3 A true community might be just what you must have because we can't do it alone.
KEEP YOUR ATTIRE MODEST.
I'm primarily observing you women here. There is nothing filthy or improper about your beautiful bodies. However, they were designed to exclusively be administered to your husband's body—and eyes. Dress modestly for the man that you love, even if you're not prepared to do it for the other men in your vicinity who are frantically trying to view you as an individual and not an object. He won't have an issue not thinking about taking off your clothing if you dress like you're wearing clothes rather than underwear4. Be chaste by yourself alone. Avoiding temptation by avoiding it elsewhere is the answer. Masturbating and using pornography don't relieve sexual stress; rather, they exacerbate it.In addition to being as addicted as crack, pornography can have detrimental effects on your life outside of your romantic relationships. The following advice will help you avoid pornography. Take action now.
ADMIT YOUR SIN.
You're going down. Never give up! Get up, go to confession, and put in even more work. Think again about the rules you have set for yourself and your relationship. Speak with a reliable buddy. Weep, pout, and strike a wall, but never lose up. Although the path is difficult, keep in mind that you are following a God who was crucified three times. He was aware that you would tumble. You get his forgiveness. You should try again, he says. These are more general recommendations than strict restrictions because every relationship is unique.Everyone seems to agree that chastity is something that is earned rather than something that just happens.
First and foremost, it's about developing your connection with Christ; following the rules is only a means to that goal. Furthermore, nothing ought to stand in our way if we are discussing more than just abstinence; rather, we are discussing glory, virtue, true love, and a genuine, everlasting happily-ever-after. It is challenging. It is worthwhile. When you can, be strong; when you can't, let Christ be your strength.