Although it's acceptable to refuse your mother's requests, regardless of the reasons behind them, knowing how she behaves may help you choose how to aid her without giving in to her pressure. Consider for a moment why your mother could be requesting your assistance.
You may find that her persistence on seeking assistance is actually a sign of another issue. For instance, is she requesting your presence because she is lonely? Her activities are backfiring if that's true. When she tries to pull you in, she can be inadvertently pushing you away. She could feel less alone if you visit her more frequently.
But if your mother has always felt powerless, you might need to take a somewhat different approach. You might have to urge her to assist herself and create clear boundaries with her. It keeps your mom helpless when you do things for her that she could do for herself. It gives her the confidence to take care of herself when you say no and encourage her to act.
Express your faith in your mother's ability to take care of herself when you know she can. You can change the lightbulb, Mom, I'm sure of it. Try it out and report back to me on the outcome. They might benefit greatly from a little encouragement.
You may also gain some understanding of your mother's struggles from any resistance you encounter. The response she gives to her support may reveal her thoughts, regardless of if she says she is incapable of doing it or urges you visit to see how things are going.
You might also be straightforward with her and let her know that you believe she is able than she realizes. Talk to her about any safety concerns she may have about doing something by herself.
Set Decent Boundaries:
You can refuse your mother's pleas for assistance. You are not required to assist her in doing things simply because that she asks you to, even though you are her child. If you do want to assist, establish guidelines for when you will do so. It's acceptable to promise to accomplish anything the following weekend. She doesn't have to make you jump up at the first opportunity.
Limiting the amount of labor you do or the frequency of your work is another option. Asking your mom to make a list of unusual tasks she needs completed and then agreeing to dedicate a specific amount of time to doing them—for example, two hours per month or one hour per week, based on the duration of time you want to dedicate to her tasks—will help you accomplish your goals.
Provide Alternative Resources:
To aid her, you may also provide her with additional resources. You may, for instance, email her a link to a webpage where she may hire someone to complete tasks for her, or you may offer her with a telephone number of an authorized service provider that handles odd jobs.
Encourage her to ask her family members or friends for their knowledge from time to time if they might be capable to help with something.
Regulate Your Guilt Emotions:
You haven't done anything wrong merely because you feel bad. It's not a sign of a bad person to say no to your mother. Bring up the issue if your mother tries to put on a guilt trip. Attempting to make me feel horrible won't work, so say something like, "I know you feel bad, but I can't come over today to help." In spite of your mother's emotional appeal, don't break your word. By doing this, you'll merely affirm to her that she can control you by making you