Counting The Cost of Parenthood

Migs Reyes

As we gather here everyday to see what the world has got for the day, to hear what prevails in nations of the world, let's not be carried away by the shadows of the troubles that encompasses all around us.

Wipe the tears of the weak around you. That's what the world needs to be healed of many pains that we feel here. It is fine to feel unsafe in the world and to be afraid of strangers but we should never be too scared of lending a helping hand.

This morning, as I walked to join my colleagues at the bus stop, I met them in a teary situation. They were with a boy of about right years of age, dirty clad and with dreadlocked hair. Before I asked what the issue was, I thought in my mind, or was it in my head, that this boy ought to be preparing to go to school. He should be under the watch of his parents. But with what is seen here, he doesn't look like a child who has any form of parental care.

Kenny, as I later learned the boy's name, told a story of him being a twin. He said that his mother passed away when they were born. Since there was no one to take responsibility for their upbringing, his twin brother was separated from him at birth by the maternal aunt.

While Taiwo was kept under the care of his paternal uncle's wife. He grew in an environment where everything was available, including care and love. But the reverse is the case for Kenny.

This morning, what transpired was that Kenny was seen with a tray of plantain, hawking it for his aunt. He does this every morning before going to school. And if he does not sell everything, he would not be allowed to go to school nor would he have food for it.

Take Responsibility

A responsible parent is not necessarily the biological parent of a child. First, a parent must know that he or she is a caretaker of a child. He is responsible for the moral upbringing of the child and must invest all available resources in making the child a sociable member of society.
As a matter of fact, children feel safe in the home where love and affection exists. The direct opposite is what we have in society. Individuals who did not consider the cost first before venturing into marriage or parenthood have created more problems for the society.

What Responsibilities?

All parents, irrespective of their parenting styles, have many responsibilities and roles to play In raising their children to become responsible citizens in society.

Education: A responsible parent begins the teaching of their child from.the home. The home is the first contact the child has from birth and all the formation years lifestyles are learnt at home. The next is the formal education that the parent must provide for the child. Since the child did not have a hand of himself coming to the world, the parent who's consent it was should leave no stone unturned in ensuring that the child is schooled.

Protection and Defence: It is the duty of a responsible parent to provide an enabling environment for their children. A place where they would be safe and protected from unholy influences.

Building Positive Concepts: Every child deserves to build self-esteem and the home front is instrumental in this bid. Parents should not constantly judge, criticise or blame children for every mistake but should rather encourage them by helping them manage stress, frustration and make them confident.

Transferred Aggression: When life occurrences toss you as a patent back and forth, do not allow it to affect your children. Aggression from work or with your spouse should also not be made to deal with the children. Children are fragile and could be broken when parents do not stake a right stand in dealing with situations around them.
Like Kenny, many parents have failed in their duties as parents and have made parenting a major social problem in the 21st century.

One of my colleagues volunteered to follow Kenny home to see what actually the problem is.
Her findings is that the children in the home are neglected. At that young age, they have to fend for themselves.

What a poor way to bring children up.

Before anyone decides to make a home, they should first count the cost. Parenting is truly a tough course. Only an individual who is prepared should make the move.