In an unlimited world with infinite options, everyone has an ideal friend group. We hang out with a small group of pals on Fridays; the ones we phone at 3 a.m. to complain about how our love interest is driving us insane. They are the people we talk to at the most inconvenient times; pals who know how we prefer our meals and the reason we cannot sleep with the lights off. We have a group of pals that always have a "remember when" moment. We have a tightly knit circle.
Many of us are unable to find pals like this. Instead, we find ourselves on the periphery of many friendship circles. No one knows us well. We don't understand why we only have acquaintances. Most of the time, we, the victims, are also the culprits because we are reluctant to reveal our true selves to the world. We usually don't even notice this. Many of us assume that we are open books that anybody can read. Meanwhile, we strive hard in our subconscious to prevent this from happening. Being known is inextricably linked to wanting affection. The latter is terrifying.
We fail to recognize that these obviously frightening revelations are what binds us together. The tragic stories, the humiliating ones, the unstable family, our strained relationship with our guardians, the individuals we've injured, the ones who've damaged us, are ultimately the glue that ties partnerships together. These minor errors in our codes demonstrate that we are human. Our veneer cracks reveal that we, too, are flawed. Nothing brings people together like the shattered parts of themselves they witness in others. To be loved, truly loved, and loved, we must be willing to reveal ourselves.
Love isn't unconditional if they just notice us when we're dressed appropriately. A friendship in which you only see one another at your peak is scarcely a friendship. Because perfection isn't real. What is more? A friendship founded on that delusion is certain to fail. You must show everything, the positive and negative aspects, and the bad.
If you actually want those weekend socializing and acquaintances who are willing to wait for you when the laces come untied; if you want friends you can call in the midst of the night, friends who understand your strengths and flaws and compliment them, you must communicate. To show. You must be vulnerable. Every relationship is based on vulnerability. Without it, any ship will sink.