Every afternoon I stood by the black grill of the window and looked out at random. I stand still and think, will I not have a place in this busy town?
The sky of the creator is so big! At the same time this huge world has fallen. Well, there is no place left in this vast land where my two feet will stand still. Earthquakes will no longer be shaken by momentary earthquakes. The sky will never be filled with the black clouds of the pain widow.
After the Fajr prayers, the soft breeze and soft light of the morning floats away from the unknown. Waiting for that light, I waited all night but did not see the morning. Seeing the yellow sun that has turned pale like Kusum, I think every morning with the combination of light and Aadhaar, this time I will suddenly understand and get back my Arun Ranga Prabhat. But in the morning, at noon, once in the evening. Long-distance birds welcome the twilight and flutter their wings. But I am a bird that has lost its nest, like a ghost, there is no place for that head even in the black night.
As soon as the body and mind can be relaxed by the touch of the gentle breeze of the afternoon, the wind that pierces the window and knocks on the door of memory. Sonali reminds me of that afternoon. Smriti that badd chases these days.
The shadow of the yellow building on the other side doubled and crashed into the courtyard through the balcony. Rashed's insanity filled the silent courtyard as much as the joy of the world. The sound of her bare feet on the floor kept me very well that day. He taught me to live. The two of them have tea party in the shady afternoon every day according to the rules on the balcony. All the happiness in the world is pierced out of the lips.
Panchamukh Rashed in praise of the tea in my hand. Well, did he really appreciate me?
I either make a lot of good tea, if I don't drink the tea in my hand or the afternoon will become dust.
I don't know, Dad, I don't have the habit of drinking tea again, how could I make tea so beautifully! I don't know, was he always ready to praise me? Maybe the love was too deep so I have to appreciate whatever the tea is. The man never wanted to hurt me.
I would not talk so much in front of people. Everyone used to make fun of me by saying "wet cat" to make me angry. I used to suffer a lot, I would close the door and cry in a lonely room. I also know that there is no crookedness in me, the simple and arrogant little girl of my parents. Yet I still do not understand why people call me such a bad name.
The night I got married to Rasheed, I told him, look, don't call me a wet cat no matter what you say, but I will suffer a lot. Rashed laughed ho ho that day and said, well I will not call.
Ummm, do you mind being called arrogant? I smiled and said no.
I couldn't believe it when I thought about how I was constantly chatting with him. Asking myself, I still haven't got the answer. Paboi or what, I'm a girl of a very repressed nature, I can not talk to anyone. It's like getting stuck talking to someone else.
That afternoon I sat him on the balcony, brought him tea from the kitchen, held him in my hand, and sat in the chair next to him, chatting incessantly.
Rashed: I don't understand what happens to you, if you go in front of people, look at them like Bob.
Me: So what do I do? Are you one of the other people?
Rashed: Uri Baba! My idea seems completely wrong. This girl can talk a lot. Talkative.
Me: It's over, why should I be talkative? You just make me angry.
Rashed: Well, you're arrogant, you're talkative, and you're the one who didn't talk to me, beautiful darling.
Me: Hee hee hee hee heego, tea but frozen ice ha ha ha.
Rashed is no longer alive. My husband is gone and hates me. Maybe that day he said in vague language, dear, I will go to that unknown. On that day, even if you raise your hand, you will not get it.
I used to laugh a lot when I talked to him. One day Rashed jokingly said to me, "Don't laugh so much Bibi, then you will become unlucky from arrogant, sadness comes when you smile too much."
It is true that a black cloud of sorrow has descended on my forehead today. How far my peace dove has left me. Will never come back.
I will keep your names in my chest with great care. When I am alone in the dark, I often call myself by the names of love, Abhimani, Ragini, Suhasini, Asuryaspasya, Sukeshini, Rupshi Kanya, Meghavati. But no one calls like you.
But, yes, the names given by many people today, apart from the names given by you, cannot be finished. Some say widow, some say demon, unseen.
Unable to bear it, many put it on my face and said, "Gharpora, the husband has eaten, now the mother and father will eat and swallow us."
Well am I really that bad! ...
Am I lost today? You are the precious pearl in the burning of that oyster. You were all over me. My existence, why can't you leave me alone in the world, take me with you?
The world is sad to me. My sun has set in the west. Arun Ranga Prabhat will not hit the ether by piercing the fog, snatching the full whistle.
If you were there, no one would be able to speak harshly to me! Don't say once today, "People, my fund is very good, don't call him harsh. I'm with him."
Beloved, I am only a burden to everyone, my value that no one knows how to give except you. Today I am destitute after losing the entity called you.
On the shoulders of the family I understand that awful one. To society I see that big ugly. It is bad to travel when you see me, you don't have to go to good deeds to see me. Everyone wants to avoid responsibility. Everyone wants to live. But no one wants to live well with me. I am that unfortunate.
This night my parents are talking about what will happen to me! ..... What will we do with this girl! ... Where will I go?
Those who used to be by my side in the days of sorrow, today they are worried about me, if I push them away, everyone will survive. The world will be clean, happiness will sway in the holes of society.
Beloved, and in any case you can never forget. I'm just yours. A very good relationship came that day. But I rejected, of course the pot party liked me too. The mind does not mean that in my existence you are an entity called.
Can you hear my flying letter darling?