Last weekend, I travelled to Kidderminster to watch my beloved Reading get dumped out of the FA Cup to a team 4 divisions below us who are currently playing in the 2nd tier of Non League football.
Whilst I have started to come to terms with this and the thought that we can concentrate on saving ourselves from relegation, I'm beginning to lose hope.
It seems that within the last 10 minutes of every match, we concede 2 goals. Often throwing away a 1 or 2 goal lead to lose 2-1 or at best, draw 2-2.
On Tuesday night, we played at home to Fulham - admittedly a team flying high in the Championship. Somewhat unlucky to concede a 2nd goal and go in 2-0 at Half Time, this was the time for the troops to rally - and see some fighting spirit in the 2nd half. We lost 7-0.
All too often this season, the manager has failed to lift the players when they need it. The players have failed to show any determination once our opposition start to fight back. I know that our recruitment has been poor and long gone are the days of us competing at the top of the table (more thoughts on why this is in another post) but our squad isn't as bad as our league position and abysmal form suggests.
With our wage bill believed to be over £21m, I remember a time when our best players would leave (whilst we in the Premiership) because we wouldn't break our wage structure - Steve Sidwell who left to sign for Chelsea was offered "just" £25,000 per week. Our highest paid player - Danny Drinkwater is earning nearly 5 times that.
I fear for the future of my football club.