Narcissists get a bad reputation , albeit t a large proportion of it that's mostly deserved.
Not all narcissists are automatically 'bad people*', however.
*'Good' and 'bad' - being their ethical actions
(not their internal, non physical, moral hierarchy).
There are many - millions upon millions in fact - of narcissists that live their lives out being perfectly 'good' people.
hard working,law abiding, in steady relationships, and pretty much non destructive to those around them
They live, and die, un-extraordinary lives (again, looking at ethical actions, nor internal moral structures).
But here is the problem....
The above scenarios- the un-extraordinary, ethically sound life - depends on some fundamental factors.
Factors which can change the 'good' narcissist, into the 'bad' narcissists - the ones we are now all familiar with.
What are these factors?
Stressors.
It's stressors that unmask the benign smiling fac of the 'good narccists'
As long as there are NO external strssors - things that threaten to disrupt the image the narcissist has of themselves - all is hunky dory.
WHEN there are stressors present- the masks can fall off.
These are unconscious and show as unavoidable actions of the narcissists very pathology.
The narcissists psychology/pathology is egocentric.
Anything that disrupts that 'inner construct of the world, their perfect self image, and the people in it', causes stress - or cognitive dissonance.
In psychoanalysis, egosyntonic refers to the behaviors, values, and feelings that are in harmony with or acceptable to the needs and goals of the ego, or consistent with one's ideal self-image.
Egodystonic is the opposite, referring to thoughts and behaviors that are conflicting or dissonant with the needs and goals of the ego, or further, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image.
Wikipedia_
Without any external stressors - those who exhibit high narcissism can be 'good' people in society. (actions, not thoughts).
unfortunatley for them (and peope around them), social media does not allow for stressors to be easily avoided.
In fact, social media is the playground for those who wish to fuck around with those with high narcissistic traits.
THE NARCISSIST CANNOT HELP THEIR OWN BEHAVIORS, ONCE STRESSORS COME INTO PLAY.
IT IS WHAT THEY ARE, NOT WHO.
YOU WOULD'T EXPECT A GREAT WHITE SHARK TO ACT IN ANY OTHER WAY THAN THEY DO, WHEN PRESENTED WITH A FRESH LUMP OF SEAL MEAT, NOW WOULD YOU ?
The narcissist under stress (feeling their sel image being threatened), is acting from the oldest parts of the brain - the 'instinctual' part, not the 'thinking' part.
The same part of the brain that the great white shark operates on, 24/7.
Of course, once the stressors come into play, once the mask has been ripped off and the ugly reality underneath has been exposed - THEN you see the nude narcissist.
And it ain't pretty.
....Coming up - is it time to fill in some holes?
