This is my second post at blurt and a must read post as well.
An experiment was conducted on the children of an orphanage, who were splitted into a group of ten. Five children in each group had early signs of stutters, and five who spoke normally. Each group was given a feedback on their ability to speak, difference being that one group was given a positive and the other was given a negative feedback. Now here is an interesting part,
The feedback didn't change the children's speech pattern, but what it did was that the group that was given a positive feedback, the children who stuttered became more confident. But the group that was given a negative feedback, the children in that group became insecure and less confident in their speech. This experiment is called "The Monster Study". Well, it is called the monster study for some other reasons but that's not the main point.
The main point is, we don't realize what our words would result in when we compulsively throw our critism at people around us. Even with right intentions, we destroy our children's confidence and self-esteem. We do this to our boys and girls in the worst of ways. We are too concerned about our children physical appearance that we just can't help but spit those embarrasing comments, on how they talk, how they walk, how they sit, their height, their weight, their nose, their lips, their hands .... man ... we just destroy them. We are making them hate the body they are going to live in until they die. That's truly horrific when you see the parents and siblings making fun of that ten year old's weight, his or her nose, the way they talk, the way they say a certain word. And when they move to the real world, they would rather want to die than speaking publically, because they are too concerned what people would think of them. If someone stares at them, they make themselves believe that it is because how revolting they look. Such children can't see people smiling at them because they think they are being made fun of.
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And these children, who should be the leaders, innovators, speakers, teachers or and much more anything that requires public presence, they would try their best to avoid being noticed. Most of the time, this damage is not done from outside, but inside of homes. Some parents are too insecure that their daughter doesn't look too pretty as her cousins or neighbours, they would force her to wear make-up even if she doesn't want to. They place their insecurity on their daughter, and eventually she wouldn't like her OWN FACE without it. And some mothers are too concerned about their own age that they would do anything to their daughter, even if it requires to destroy her self-confidence, so she can look girlish and the mother wouldn't be called old. I have seen such instances. Comparing children to their lousy cousins for scoring more than they did. And such children end up hating their cousins, and the hatred inside of them hurts and damages no one but themselves.
So the point is to let us re-examine our up-bringing and know that maybe our inability to do something isn't our disorder at all. It was just the words which affected us through negative feedback we processed too deeply.