I can't help myself. I just keep Blurting away. This is the third couple I saw get married in the last month. It is like everybody in Korea postponed their weddings for the past three years until this summer.
I am busy preparing for Summer English camp for my students. Luckily I think I wasn't chosen as the National speaker this year for the Office of Education. Yeah... I think I can have a normal summer for about a month and get some rest.
Oh, the title and the cover pic. Yeah, falling in love is over rated. It is really about faithfulness and the human heart is unfaithful. So instead of falling in love it is better to grow in love or mature in love. This means acknowledge differences and learn from each other.
Every day is not going to be like that wedding picture. Most days will be very boring at best. There will be a ton of clashes and differences in opinions and emotional outburst. That should be expected. Love that matures will pick up the broken pieces and embrace the differences.
For a long time I didn't know what to do when those times came so I hid or just made myself scarce. I thought that was pretty wise and non-confrontale, but when the kids came I realized where I was wrong. My youngest was out of control and my oldest would explode with impatience. I told him he should embrace his little brother. It always worked. His little brother became like an angel.
Then I learned I was being a hypocrite. I tried to avoid confrontation with my wife instead of listening to her and embracing her in he explosive times. I decided to use my own medicine and embrace her when she gets angry... just say nothing and give her a hug and actually listen to her. It did wonders.
It's kind of hard to give digital hugs, but I will try.
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Apparently that works with women, but with men I don't think so... I say this because it would make me happy when something bothers me and I show it to my husband, that he would listen to me until the end, we women like that they listen us, but he interrupts again and again and in the end I don't finish what I want to say...
On the contrary, when something bothers him, I remain silent, and that bothers him, I don't understand, he told me the last time that it bothers him that I remain silent when he demands something from me, but I consider that remaining silent it's a way to respect his right to speak and let him express everything he wants to say.
Oh @blessed-girl,
I hope you are feeling well.
Men are from Mars . I really cannot speak for all men but when I have difficulties I want to run away. It's the "go hide in a cave mechanism." I'm not sure how much we developed since the cave man ages. At that time it was flea or flight. I think what men basically want is acknowledgement and recognition and respect. There are different ways they expect that to be expressed. That really depends on the individual and their love language.
Your husband seems to have an interesting way of communicating:
I wonder if his interruption is his way of saying that he is listening and affirming what you are saying or is it just completely off the topic?
Here is evidence that your husband is effective at communicating his wishes. It seems that he is not sure if you are following him and supporting him and would like some affirmation. He would also like to see what you think about it. Sometimes a person is not sure yet and just wants to test the idea with another. It is a practice in rhetoric.
My wife is a country girl and was very naïve before I married her. I quickly taught her how to argue and express her opinions and it did worlds for her... but in doing so I kind of created a monster. No one can beat her in an argument. In the short term I lost, but in the long run I won because she was happy to express herself logically.
I know that once the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to Timothy concerning the church in Ephesus urging the woman of the congregation to be silent. At that time the teachings of the Gnostics was widely spread within the church as well as gossip. I don't think Paul's directive was meant for all churches of all times and especially not for the home. It seems to me that your husband wants you to speak freely and engage in conversation according to your convictions and beliefs and feelings. It seems though for him conversation is a matter of exchange not a one way listening and speaking avenue. It's like he is on Zoom and you are on Blurt. You would like deep thought out replies and a complete post. He wants active interaction. I'm not quite sure. I only know from my own experience but I know that other people don't think the same way as we do. Whether it is culture or language or male and female... there are different ways that things are processed.
It seems that sometimes people calculate from step 1 to step 8 in their heads. Then they expect the listener to just follow those steps even if the listener doesn't know about them. Other people would like a detail explanation of all the steps from 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 even though the speaker thinks we can just skip those steps because the important thing is we are at step 8 now.
There are so many differences we can not solve them all by compromise and bearing. We will run out of strength. That's where love comes in. We need to know that we are loved. Then we can love others.
Hello, yeah I've heard that men are from Mars and women are from Venus hahaha... well I'm more of a detailed explanation from 1 to 8 but my husband likes a well summarized summary more... and you're right, on some occasion he told me that he wants me to speak to feel that I support what he says, thank you for this excellent comment, you have done a good analysis.
I'm glad you helped your wife know how to express herself.
She is glad too^0^
Absolutely real what you just shared, hugs can make a difference. I have always thought that a sincere hug can transmit and awaken so much energy that causes a lot of pleasure and calm.
Knowing how to listen and even silence at the indicated moments also do their good job in a relationship. What we should not do is put aside our partners, and not give importance to their needs, because each one is different and has their own perception of life, but how beautiful is when teamwork is achieved.
A big virtual hug my dear friend.
Good vibes.
Thank you for the good vibes and hugs @angelica7^^
This got me cracking up really 😆 I can imagine what that looks like... From one wedding to another.
I felt your digital hug... What a huge hug! 😁 I'm sure your wife feels better when you give her such hugs especially at a time like that 😊
She is very happy @merit.ahama and I'm glad, but I'm also prepared for mood swings and disappointments.
Haha that is just normal, you'll be fine 😊
Congratulations, your post has been curated by @dsc-r2cornell. You can use the tag #R2cornell. Also, find us on Discord
Felicitaciones, su publicación ha sido votada por @ dsc-r2cornell. Puedes usar el tag #R2cornell. También, nos puedes encontrar en Discord