When you're in a relationship and you have been rejected, don't take it personally. It's not that your relationship isn't working out - it's that you're not being assertive enough.
There's no doubt that you have personal responsibility for your own behavior. You make the decisions you will make, and how you will make them. And you need to be able to control your emotions, not allow them to control you.
If you've had rejections in your relationships, you probably feel very strongly about your right to be hurt by others. You want to get back at those people who have hurt you, even if you are just the victim of their petty spite. You want to punish them for the things they did that hurt you, even if you haven't done anything wrong. You want revenge, and you're not going to get it from any other person but yourself.
But when you are angry about what other people have said or done to you, it is your own reaction and way of reacting that makes it unforgivable. Instead of taking rejection personally, you should be learning how to control your emotions. When you can't control yourself and you allow the anger to take over, you'll do everything you can to get revenge. It will ruin your chances of rebuilding your relationship.
You have to learn how to deal with the things that hurt you, even if they were done by someone else. You may think that you're right and you know the truth. But this is actually not true. You may have hurt someone else's feelings, but this doesn't mean you should go on, thinking you have nothing to lose. If you think you are right, you are wrong.
Once you have stopped the negative feeling and the anger, you should be ready to work things out with the person that hurt you. Don't be afraid to ask forgiveness. Don't let them push you around, either. And if they won't give it, find someone else who will.
If you are having more than one negative feeling about a person, move on, too. That doesn't mean they are bad people; it just means you have a lot to learn about yourself. and what's going on in your life.
The more you learn about yourself, the easier it is to control your reactions to your negative feelings. and actions. Instead of being controlled by your negative feelings, learn to control them.
Think about what you want from the relationship. Do you want love, respect, and support? Are you looking for a partner to have a good time with? Do you want to have fun and share in their life, without spending all your time complaining about everything?
The worst thing you can do is turn to other people. You shouldn't have to have someone else tell you that you're doing something wrong. You should do it on your own. Just because other people don't seem to help you understand what you're going through doesn't mean they don't care or aren't trying to help.
Sometimes the people that care the most are the ones that help you the least. And you'll probably find that other people who care the least aren't trying as hard as those who are really hurting. Because they know that you're hurting, so close to the problem, they won't help much.
They'll see you as weak because you aren't trying to help them, and they won't be able to help you. But that's okay, because other people won't help you as much as they would if they helped themselves.
If you don't learn how to control your feelings and emotions, you will have to take rejection seriously. because if you don't, you will never really fix things and instead of getting back together with the person you were.
