Why is this person angry? | 3 things that make a good start

Were there times you've found yourself asking those questions? I had an experience in my workplace when suddenly, my colleague looked upset and I didn't know the reason why. Those questions suddenly popped in my mind even though I know for a fact that the reason could not be me, I just came in, how could have I offended him? But those questions came to my mind, naturally, like it was an intuitive response.

The answer to those questions is that, maybe it's not you who is responsible when someone is angry. There could be, and most probably, a reason why that person is angry. And that reason could be unseen and unknown to you. There's this old story shared in the book Big Ideas for Curious Minds: an Introduction to Philosophy called Androcles and the Lion. The villagers were afraid of the Lion that prowls around the village at night. A stranger by the name of Androcles found shelter in a cave where the Lion lives. When he thought he'd be eaten by the angry Lion, he saw a thorn in the Lion's paw. It turns out, the Lion was hurting because of the thorn and that was making him angry. It was not seen or known by the villagers, all along they were frightened of the Lion who was never angry with them in first place.

Were there times you've found yourself asking those questions? I had an experience in my workplace when suddenly, my colleague looked upset and I didn't know the reason why. Those questions suddenly popped in my mind even though I know for a fact that the reason could not be me, I just came in, how could have I offended him? But those questions came to my mind, naturally, like it was an intuitive response.

First. The question we need to ask ourselves is "What am I not seeing?" In the course of our days, we can never be sure and informed of all the things that have happened to someone. It is possible that that person went through difficult things and you were not there to see it. It is important for us to keep asking this question, what am I not seeing?

Second. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes will help you imagine what that person might be going through. Try to imagine what hidden problem is bothering that person. As we imagine the situation of that person, maybe we could find a way and offer a helping hand to that person. These two things are thought by the philosopher Ibn Sina. Sina was a scientist and a doctor who was interested in how people misunderstand each other, how easy it is for us to misunderstand the people around us. Sina claims that most of the time what we see is the outside part of a person, the inside part or the soul is hidden to what our eyes can see. If we could try to imagine what we could not see, perhaps we'll know better.

Third. The last thing that makes a good start is a philosophy by Zera Yacob. This could trigger a hurtful past to you but have you thought of the people who were once mean or who have bullied you? Looking back, I still remember the hurtful words I have received from other people and their actions that hurt or offended me. Remembering the old times was not just one way for me, I also know that over the years, I have said or have made things that hurt other people too.

I would sometimes think why this particular person is mean to me, why is this person making me miserable? The philosopher Yacob points out that a mean person is an unhappy one. When I read about Yacob's view about how people are mean to others, I realized that I've been living my life trying to understand the root of why a person could do mean things to me. And at the same time, this makes me aware that no one in this world is perfect, we are bound to say hurtful words or do mean things to other people. We might not admit to this fact, deny to ourselves that there was a time we ever say or do wrongful things. But when we come to an understanding that what we have experienced is something we could also do to others, we'll have a picture of what's really going on with the person who is mean to us.

These three are just simple things but sometimes hard to do. When we get to these things, the situation we're in could still not change. These are not solutions to our problems. But as Yacob said, when we gain understanding of things that are happening to us, our fright might stop, and that's a good start.