To forgive or not to forgive?

in blurtlife •  4 years ago 

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The answer is very simple: if you do not want to be disappointed, then do not forgive. After all, what is forgiveness? This is our hope that the person will understand that he was wrong and begin to behave differently. But this case is just one in a thousand! In fact, behavior is often not a consequence of a mistake, but reflects the true motives of a person. And I will tell you more, from his or her point of view, this behavior is correct.

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Therefore, it will be more appropriate to talk about our own unjustified expectations and about our own willingness or unwillingness to accept another person as he is.

If you haven't forgiven someone, does that mean you should stop communicating? Absolutely not. It's just that in this case you will communicate with a person without unnecessary illusions. This simplifies everything. But if the behavior is completely unacceptable to you, communication can turn into a constant nightmare. Are you sure you need this?

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It seems to us that by forgiving we guarantee ourselves against repeating the situation. In fact, this is not the case. Forgiveness is what makes you think it's okay to behave this way with you.
The only correct decision would be to immediately explain that you do not intend to forgive such behavior in the future. This will be fair for you and for the other, as it will not create unreasonable expectations.

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