Somehow I'm sitting out at the point waiting for a wave and talking about period pants. This is unusual for me, surfing with girls. They talk about babies and periods and call each other onto waves. 'Go Laura!' they shout, as Laura paddles madly for a wave, and they hoot and call as she takes off. I'm feeling kinda awkward, on my longboard. I usually surf a paddleboard, so being on this level with the girls is an unusual angle and space for me.

Though I surfed a short board when I was younger, I picked up the SUP after only a couple of months on the longboard in 2009. So it's been a long time since I've been on a longboard. I surfed the SUP because I was good at it - being a shorter, high performance paddleboard, it was easy to manoeuvre and fling around on waves. But for the last few years, there's been a lot more girls on longboards, and I've been watching them curiously, an outsider.

I'm an outsider in a number of ways - at least that's what it feels like. Bullied as a teenager, I find it awkward to be in the world of woman, and surfing was always such a male domain, a place I felt safer. Historically, I surfed with men - boyfriends, my father, my uncles, friends. There wasn't any girls around really. Being on a SUP, I surfed a lot with the guys because there weren't any chics around on them - it's a hard sport to learn as you not only have to find your way around a peak and the moving water, but balance as well. Even though I've surfed lately alongside girls, I'm up higher, and taking off a lot earlier and on the inside or surfing different peaks. I've realised you don't look up to paddleboarders when you're on the surface of the water. It's not that you're ignoring them, it's just they aren't on your radar.

So out there talking about periods is a little odd for me. I tell them I've used a moon cup for the last twenty years and only threw it out last week. They're gobsmacked to find out I"m 50 and have finished bleeding - they don't actually believe I'm that I'm 'that old'. 'NO WAY' they squeal. 'Saltwater keeps you young, hey!'. I like them. On the same hand, they find it funny that I see them as 'young', as some of them have families to raise now, professional jobs. One is a physio, another helps people write books. Once they learn my name, they call me onto waves too. It's gorgeous and welcoming and warm, despite the chill of the water.

WHilst it's been a long time since I've been on a longboard, I pick it up again fast. I haven't lost the art of paddling or positioning myself on a wave, and I've been watching these girls long enough to pick up on a few tips to help me relearn fast. I suprise myself by jumping to my feet quickly (half the problem is jump ups rather than scrambling to one's knees, by which time you've lost the position on the wave) but I've been practicing at home. When I'm up, it's kinda wierd at first, because I don't have the paddle to stall, speed up or steady. I have to walk forward again to go faster, stand on the tail more to turn. It takes a few goes but I've got it again.

Long after the girls have gone back to babies and jobs, I'm still out there, marvelling at this new found love of longboarding. For days my arms hurt - it uses different muscle groups - but I head back the first chance I get.

And it's the same experience - girls helping each other out, smiling at each other, talking to me out on the break or in the carpark. No more period conversations, but ones about the most comfortable winter suit, or where to surf, or techniques on the waves. One girl I speak to says she feels more comfortable surfing with woman.

I get it. I'm starting to feel more comfortable myself. It's actually really making me a little emotional. Surfing with girls is something I've resisted for years because there is still that rejected teenager inside me thinking I'm an outsider.

But out there, I'm not. I'm part of everything. It doesn't even matter how old you are or what you look like, or how good a surfer you are. It's just about getting salty and having a go. There's not the fierce competitive hustle you get with the guys, or the need to compete to prove yourself.

I'm hooked again, excited. My arms are sore and my heart is full. I have salt in my hair and my eyebrows and sand in my bed. I'm welcomed and embraced, by water and woman alike.

Vive la lady sliders.

All photos are from Unsplash.

With Love,