Thoughts of a refugee in Netherlands

Today in the shelter, a good dinner was served for all the refugees. It was supposed to be a good dinner for me too, I mean for general people the meal was good but not for me. The name of the meal was Mexican-style rice with pineapple chicken curry. And I don't like pineapples when they are cooked and act like a vegetable. I love pineapples but not with pizza or curry. Many people love cooked pineapples but for me, pineapples are only a fruit, nothing more than that. That's why I will never be a fan of Hawaiian pizza. So, when all the Ukrainians were enjoying their dinner, I was thinking about what to eat for dinner. Then later I decided to go with the meal slightly modified. I separated the pineapples and the chickens and I mixed the small pieces of the chickens with the rice. That's all I have eaten for dinner.

I am trying to keep my life simple and basic, attempting to keep it to a minimum as much as possible. It's not possible for me to eat outside every day, we don't have a chance to cook our own food, it's not allowed to cook where I am staying currently. So, my options are either I can eat food from the shelter or I have to buy food from the outside which is not a good option for everyday meals. So, it doesn't matter whether I like the food from the shelter or not, I eat it after slight modification. After all, if I eat in the shelter, it saves a lot of money too.

I started saving some money that I am earning from my job. My salary is minimum and I have some monthly expenses though I don't need to pay rent now. but in the future, when I will rent an apartment and if I decide to stay in the Netherlands, for housing I need a lot of money. It's not easy to get an apartment in Almere, Netherlands, there are some rules and regulations. I know a few of the rules but I am not taking the headache of finding an apartment now. I clearly know that I won't be able to afford single-month rent now and I have a big dog that requires a large single space. It was really easy to get a studio in Kharkiv but in the Netherlands, not easy. In fact, many people are waiting to get their own house and space. And the rent is really high if it is private property.

People from other part of the world thinks that European lifestyle is pretty amazing, seems like a fairy tale. Sometimes people can't see the reality of life or probably they don't want to see it. Because of the social media we love to see good things, everybody shares their perfect life. Nobody shares the hard and dark moments on social media because nobody wants to know about the hard times of life. Probabaly, I was not able to see the beauty and advantages of European lifestyle because of my current life situations. Probabaly circumstances are not allowing me right now. I don't know yet...

I don't expect much now, it's like I am on a boat and I am going there wherever my boat is taking me. I don't know the destiny and I don't care about anything else now. My focus is only on my survival with my dog, nothing more than that.

I don't know how others are dealing with their life and I don't wanna know. It's too much for me. I can't handle so many opinions, it confuses me easily. I don't think I have PTSD anymore but I don't know. Life taught me many things and after fleeing from the war, I stopped thinking about the future and long-term plans.

Thank you so much for reading...

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Love

Priyan...

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^{I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...}

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