There is an evident lack of concernment in the near past pertaining to the practice of capturing electrons emitted on to a concealed film upon exposure to light rays.
In short, I ain't messin with selfies recently.
I mean, we all grow out of trends, if it ever influences us in the first place.
Over time, I have gotten busy with work and the ineluctable dispute of the soul.
I am starting to lean into the saying "A man doesn't grow old, the child in him dies."
Did the lack of self-portraits make me realize that? No.
The fact that I did not make actively make any snowmen this winter made me realize that.
Occasionally, I hunt for the rock'n'roll. To groove to the hits of the snare. To tap my feet and flick my hair.
But my glasses would fall off.
Instead, what I resort to doing is plugging in my invisible mic and shaking my hips while mouthing a non existing riff that throws away all the constraints and makes everything feel like its on acid. Take that, hardships of life.
I find the victorious feeling of finding joy in the most mundane moments a little more satisfying, much like a cat in a bowl of catnip.
When it started snowing in the city, it clicked that there wasn't much made of the snow this year. Didn't go snowboarding, had no snowball fights, I didn't do my usual ritual of sitting in a cafe with hot cacao watching out for people who slip on ice and laughing at them.
The tiny joys of the concrete jungle were snatched away. The only way I could let myself budge a little out of the bubble I am in was to challenge my limits.
I do not, in any way, appreciate how my pictures turn out. So I decided to do something out of my comfort zone. Direct a photoshoot with full face in view.
A snowfall portrait sesh.
What happened next was nothing short of magical. As I began manifesting the look that I felt inside, I began to enjoy the fresh snowfall and how it made me feel.
I experienced a feeling of "letting go". Something close to the feeling of "letting free" while hitchhiking.
At one moment, the phrase "I feel the most at home, when I am away from it" started taking shape in my soul.
This place, away from my home, silent and numb, pure nature's art work, brought peace to a racing heart.
The cold outside, a colorful splash in the back, dying leaves who strive to stay put, and a manifestation of it being photographed.
The inspiration behind this sesh was to challenge myself and make it a portal to letting loose.
To find and manifest what the snowfall stimulates within me and capture what it truly feels like living in my shell.
A lot of it has to do with the contrasting colors.
Dark hair, dark complexion, against a white overlay with washed out bright colors to stimulate a mix of emotions which can be distanced from the subject itself.
I used lightroom and picsart to set moods to the pictures. Each becoming dull or tinted, personalized to prompt a different reflex from the viewer.