Introspection

I have been thinking about how things just slip or how time flies so fast. I feel like one day I was young and how here I am faced with a lot of adulting responsibilities. I could not help but notice how my body has this new pains and my vision getting poorer and poorer. How I can no longer endure hours and hours of extensive hard labor or even exercise.

I feel tired easily. I no longer find pleasure in the shallow. I am starting to look for things that I am not even sure about. Things have changed in me and I can see a lot of changes around me too. I guess I am good with coping, since I am still doing well but I cannot this little bit of worry, I guess anxiety is what it is of what lies ahead.

I am starting to question if I was ever good enough in my relationships and could I have been better. I am moving forward, for sure but I am conscious now of being better than before. I guess this is maturity. I have that need of being significant and being purposeful. At the same time, I want to feel everything and experience great things in life. I am afraid of not living.

Sometimes, I just want to be out there and be carefree and just be me, whatever that means. Sometimes, I want to be very careful and accomplish, pressure myself to give what is expected of me or more. Stuff like this battle in my mind. Sometimes I could not help to think if this is some normal crisis. I'm actually pretty sure it is and I guess I just need to have a balance of everything and I should be fine.