In a world exclusive interview with Gaia after her Global Address, TITANIC NEWS has the privilege to report to you, her words.

GAIA .... "Insanity is meant to be self destruction program, not a bloody operating system...We really fucked up somewhere..."

That was it.
The entirety of the interview.

She also gave some words of advice to all the news room staff.

Given to us in the strictest of confidence , with warnings of what would happen to us if we were to betray those secrets...
*The consequences of doing so, were so dire that water boarding, nipple torture, and being made to listen incessantly to karl marx' 24/7 would be a holiday by comparison.

While under the strictest of instructions to never explicitly divulge what was actually said in the interview, she also told us :

"...Truth is in the memes !
...So get divulging all the information that I've just given you - without divulging a thing ...rebel, you spinless idiots...'

So with that in mind - and our strange but newly discovered courage - we'll take her at her word, and pray that we'll never have to listen to a 24/7 monologue by a German commie who just also happened to be related to the Rothschild banking family, a second cousin. ... a little known fact just happens to be entirely coincidental...(honest)...

So....Here's a photo of Violet and Carl - political journalist, and feminist issues reporter - 9 minutes after listening to Gaia...

TITANIC NEWS - the first media outlet to report on the global address.

(Gaia's first ever appearance to mankind is in the link below
https://blurt.blog/blurtfunny/@lucylin/zero-bush-report-world-health-organisation-gender-is-not-limited-to-male-or-female-and-gaia)

...After completing the work on the interstellar highway, Gaia returned to Earth to continue with her speech to the world.

"Listen up, boys and Girls, I will say this only once," She said.

" ....Just so we're all very clear, global citizens – It's YOU who are responsible for getting it right, not these bureaucratic turds who have less brains than that flightless Kiwi bird that we really fucked up on at the design stage,"
... quickly adding.... "But in all fairness, we DID we get it spot on with the penguins..."

She continued:

"....So get off your fat lardy arse's before you lose this paradise that's been given to you on a platter.
...Because if you don't, you might really piss off the big man upstairs - and trust me, you really don't want to do that..."
Adding...
" ...And we ain't taking about a sleepy Joe's version of 'the big man' here, ok ?....Capiche ? "

She then went on to list the names of 47, 447 individuals in the WHO, the UN, and many government officials from various countries around the world - oh, and some crypto whales.

They were presented as being :

'The imminent threat to humanity..'

She went on :

"....We're currently transforming several worlds, and it takes a lot of work and several billion human years of effort ....So I've got better things to be doing, that pointing out the morons on this planet to the sane people...and besides, it's my hair washing day "...

And with that, Gaia vanished....

...and then she returned - about 9 seconds later.
To made another statement .

"....Oh, I forgot to mention.... We've already given you all the tools that you need - now sort it out, for fucks sake....Because if you don't, I might just give you something to really worry about..."

And with that, Gaia vanished once more....

...and then returned.

....about 9 seconds later.

.........To made yet another statement .

...." Look, you lot " She said,....." This is very much against my better judgment - and to be honest, I think the big man upstairs is on his period or something...whatever... he's told me to get my very nice and shapely arse back down here on Earth - and help you sort this shit out .
.....and I'm not gonna lie to ya - I'm a bit pissed about it.

...So don't be expecting any forgiveness or any soft hippy shit like that, 'cos it ain't gonna a happen....
I wanna get this mess fixed ASAP, and I'm not in the mood - nor have the time, to be messing about."

Many millions of people - worldwide - both male and female, straight and gay - started wildly masturbating at the time of the address , and were not listening to a single word that she was saying.

*When discovering this global phenomenon later on, and what had taken place - everyone involved said the exact same thing...
That the reasons behind the sudden onset of uncontrollable wanking - was a total mystery to them.

Everyone that was involved - in what's now termed 'mass psychosis masturbation syndrome' , only occurred if they happened to be viewing Gaia at the time ....
According to experts this 'global wankathon' instilled an even stronger compulsion to 'pleasure yourself' , than the urge to sit down in a comfy chair and read a Tolkien trilogy !

"....Here's is your new Boss."...

"....Now don't be giving her no shit, ya hear?
.... 'cos she reports directly back to me. And you don't wanna be getting ME pissed off with you right now, you really don't....I'm not in the mood for any shenanigans."

After a brief pause of about 23 hours*, She continued...

*It was reported later that over 196,000 people died from 'orgasm overdose', literally wanking oneself to death - while she was stood there for those 23 hours

".....She's just like the old boss...Me, in other words.... but she's a lot more mouthy and hands on, shall we say.
....So get your humble hats on, and fart your ego's right outta that window, 'cos you ain't gonna be needing those for quite a while."

She paused for an hour, thinking about something, her brow furrowed...
(...and causing 23,000 thousand individuals to suffer a permanent genital dis-figuration through 'manic activities' during the one hour interlude)....

She then exclaimed loudly, and sounding very angry :

"...Do you not realize just how bloody amazing your ego's are if you use them properly ?
....Well, obviously not, or I wouldn't be here...I told the big man it was bad idea to give you an ego so early on your evolution – 40 million years is bugger all....but would he listen to me?...Nooooo....And now look at the state of things..."

The sounds of Wagners classic tune suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

With the deafening crescendo's of 'The Ride of The Valkyries' , The New Boss was introduced to the world...
Gaia moved to one side....(with a teasing glimpse of her buttock that was responsible for another 17,000 deaths).

" So," She said loudly...

" Here you go, global citizens, I present to you....your new boss."

.....Welcome to your new dictatorship.

Your total compliance is non-negotiable."

She continued...
" ....And for fucks sake, please learn your lessons quickly, will ya?

"...I want this girl out of this place ASAP - she has 14 galaxies sat in her in her uterus waiting to born and believe me - you don't wanna be anywhere within 6 trillion light years of her pussy when she does finally give birth...
Now get on with it ! "

And with that Gaia vanished....and didn't come back...

Standing in the exact same spot where Gaia just stood, was a little girl.

One who looked no more than 10 years old, and clinging to a fluffy toy, holding it tightly to her chest.
She was sobbing loudly, tears running down her cheeks...

And then she also vanished, leaving behind her the toy that she'd been holding onto, so very tightly....