Heya Blurt fam!
I have a friend who currently has family issues. Her health isn't in pretty good shape but she's working hard because she's the family's breadwinner. Her mom, bless her heart, probably does the things she thinks are best but she really doesn't understand my friend and her needs. My friend feels bad because she is doing everything she can, but it seems her best is always never enough for her family, especially her mom. It's like everything she does is wrong, it doesn't matter how much she sacrificed for getting it done, her mom always has something negative to say. A good example would be when my friend orders groceries online -- it's the pandemic so it's wise to make online purchases and have it delivered instead of actually braving crowds in the market and risk getting the dreaded COVID19 virus, right? So being the wise woman that my friend is, she orders everything online: meat, veggies, and other goods... but then when the stuff gets delivered, her mom always has complaints. The meat is like this and that, veggies are blah blah blah... Nothing is ever good enough for her mom and this frustrates my friend.
I'd also like to mention that my friend has her own family, she used to live in an apartment with her husband and kid but they had to uproot their lives from that peaceful place and move in with her mom because her brother who's supporting their mom lost his job, leaving nobody to pay for the rent and utilities. My friend can't pay for both rents at the same time so their mom suggested that she move in and help. Being the good daughter that she is, she sacrificed her own peace and quiet with her little fam and moved in with her mom.
Living with her mom wasn't easy because this means she has to bear with her mom's brother who lives there too. My friend's uncle is such a difficult person to live with because he has some loose nuts up there. Every day (with no fail), her mom and uncle are loudly bickering about the smallest of things. My friend and her husband work nights so they couldn't get enough sleep during the day because of the constant shouting. Her mom is aware they should be sleeping during the day but she always makes a fuss -- especially during mealtime. My friend knows her mom means well but is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet? Since they work nights, their meal schedules are kind of messed up. If they eat during the normal breakfast-lunch-dinner schedules then this messes up their sleep times. Her mom also makes it an issue if they don't finish all the food she prepares. My friend has health issues so she can only eat in portions and there are food that she couldn't eat a lot of. Her mom knows her condition but she's not sure why her mom insists on preparing food more than she can consume or food she can't even eat at all because of the dietary restrictions.
There's also the issue with her daughter. My friend can't even get mad at her own child without her mom stepping in to turn the issue about her. For some reason, her mom always makes everything about her. Whenever my friend gets angry at her daughter, her mom butts in and says things like "if you're angry at me, tell me. don't get mad at your daughter" OMG WTF? Where did that come from? It seems like she's assuming that my friend is angry at her when that's not the case. My friend is frustrated because in her mom's house, she can't discipline her own kid.
My friend already pays for the apartment's monthly rental, electricity, internet utilities, and buys monthly groceries for everyone in the household. And yet, every time her mom doesn't have money she gets in a bad mood and vents out to my friend and tells her exactly just that: SHE HAS NO MORE MONEY. As if it's my friend's fault and she has to do something about it.
My friend is so conflicted right now. She moved in to help her mom but it's a thankless job, and she's tired. She wants to move out but she can't because who else would help her mom?
So yeah, I'm asking for a friend -- what should she do at this point? Can you guys offer a sound advice for her?
Thank you! :)