Parents say some very mean thing to their children. Whether it was said in the passing or just a flippant comment, some of these words have a lasting effect on the children. It's okay to let a child know there are certain things that are expected of him or her at a certain age but the way and manner that message is passed across matters a lot.
"At your age..." Just three words that seem so harmless but can drive a child into depression, low self-esteem and even suicide. Parents have so many expectations of their children that they expect that at a particular age, you should act a certain way, be a certain someone, achieve a certain something and the list is endless.
"At your age....", I don't like anything about this phrase. That someone my age has got a degree doesn't mean I should have one. That someone my age just bought a car doesn't mean I should have one. That someone my age is married with kids doesn't mean I should be married with kids. We all have a different timeline. Parents should resist the temptations of forcing another person's timeline on their child.
To parents, they may be doing this out of a place of concern but they must understand that human situations in the current are different from what it used to be during their own time and that not everyone is what they appear to be. Even children have their battles they are fighting.
At your age you are still jobless is the reason why we have so many criminals out there. At your age you are still single, is why we have so many wrongly married people out there with cases of divorce on the increase. At your age, you don't have a child is why a man would think of having extramarital affairs. At your age, you can't even afford to buy a bicycle let alone a car like your mates is why there is so much cybercrime.
Dear parents, let us grow at our own pace. Let us achieve things at our own pace. Let things happen when they are destined to happen.
Don't forget that also "at your age", a lot of have died and have been buried. At your age, a lot are in prison. At your age, a lot are battling with one serious disease or the other.
Appreciate your kids even if they aren't doing so much. Appreciate them even if they are not meeting your expectations. Words of appreciation and encouragement, knowing that they have your full support is enough to boost their self-esteem and a desire to surpass your expectations just to make you proud. Let your children take their time to become that which you desire so it won't end up in regrets.