My husband and I traveled to the village two years ago for his Aunty’s funeral.
Loads of village meetings, here and there.
In their usual way, men sit together to hold their own meeting while the women sit in their own separate group, few meters away.
I have never understood this culture and may never do.
The men had bought a full goat. They killed it and cooked pepper soup with it. They had some boiled yam to go with the pepper soup.
They removed one full leg of the goat and gave to the women. They didn’t cook it. It was raw.
So, the men were sitting few meters away from the women, eating their yam and peppersoup while the women were sitting in a circle with the raw goat leg placed on banana leaves on the floor, in the middle.
I whispered to the woman sitting next to me that my husband would never eat if I am not eating. I asked her to watch what would happen.
Immediately they served him his share of the peppersoup and yam, he got up and started walking towards the women group.
The woman looked at me. I smiled. He brought his food to me. I was heavily pregnant, I didn’t have the best of appetite, so I declined to eat. He insisted I pick some yam and chew. I did.
He went back to join the men’s meeting.
As we walked back home, we totally condemned the act. You need to see how men were eating, not caring that their wives who were seated just a few meters away where staring at raw meat. It was such a disgusting sight.
Listen - I honestly know that culture has several wrong and demeaning elements in it, but I am so proud that my own husband chose to stand out.
He didn’t try to fight the tradition. He may have made enemies if he did. He just allowed his own love shine through.
There may be many things that society is doing that you do not like, please, if you cannot fight it, just do the right thing and allow love speak for itself.
Have a great day!
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Dear Ma'am, your husband should be holding classes for men on how to “husband their wives”.
Congrats on the pregnancy, and I am very happy to hear your husband is true to himself.
May 2022 see many more of us being true to ourselves, and not blindly following the dictates of others.