Now That I Know

Now that you know all I stood to lose; you might be wondering how I got here. How does a promising secondary student at the heels of tremendous success become the prime suspect of a murder investigation? I could have had it all. The police reports stated that the crime was too sinister to have been planned and executed by such a young lad.

I could not decide if I was flattered or disgusted by such comments, but I experienced shame because I got caught. I could have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for one silly mistake. Now, I will have to live the rest of my life haunted by this great shame. The police are calling it a crime of passion. Such fools. At this rate of folly, I could only wonder how they were able to unravel the puzzle.

It all began a term after arriving at APEX High. After enjoying a full term of blissful power, it seemed that the sun was setting on my throne. Indeed, it was setting so quickly. I had been feeling this sense of anxiety for weeks. It was like an aching feeling in my chest. I would lay in my bed for hours that never seemed to end, yet the sleep would elude me.

What teacher have I wronged that has cursed me to have eternal suffering were words that often echoed in my thoughts. My mother was now starting to worry that perhaps the pressure of being at a new school and the high expectations were getting to me. She wanted me to kick back a little, but I could not. The stress was not what was keeping me awake. But after coming this far and seeing my father smile at me in a way that signified a profound pride that he had in my like he has never had before, I could not slow down now. I had to keep on going.

It was Wednesday. I was taking my usual walks during the lunch break when this shadowy figure tapped me from behind. I wondered if I had imagined it or if it was real. “How are you enjoying my life?” she said. Suddenly, it all came rushing back. It was Tutu. Adetutu Morenike Ofisayo.

The girl that beat me by a hair at the national exams. I thought she was done for. Rumor had it that she fell and was unconscious. The parents said she had some brain damage and would not be able to return to school indefinitely. I guess indefinitely was precisely three months and six days. But who was counting. “Excuse me?”, I replied. “I’m Tutu, I used to be the one that held the post you have now”, she said as she gestured her wrist towards me to shake my hand. With a sigh of relief, I motioned to shake her hand.

I wondered if this meant that she could not really remember. She did not even say my name. But how did she recognize me? Maybe it was just the talk around the school campus, I’m a big shot after all. Who doesn’t know me? I offered to walk her to her class. It was the most awkward walk of my life. I tried to play it cool. I did not want anything to seem off. Little did I know that it was only the beginning. Tutu was in my class. I had walked her to my class, SS1 Diamond. But it was also her class.

“Who is the new girl?” I said to James as I snatched his half-eaten sandwich from his hand. “She’s not new joor” he snapped as he turned towards her direction. “But maybe, she is. She didn’t used to look like this before, that’s for sure. Maybe her folks bought her a new body like Kylie Jenner. You know they have mad money” he said as he laughed sarcastically. James insisted that she was not new but that perhaps puberty may have been kind to her.

He also mentioned that people have been talking about how chill she is these days. Perhaps the graze with death had given her a new perspective. “How is she in our class though?” I asked passively. “Her parents arranged with the school to give her lessons at home. She is actually up to speed and I hear that she is top of the class”. “Can I have my quarter sandwich back?” James said as he snatched the remainder of the sandwich and walked to another group of boys to engage in more trivial jokes.

As he walked off, I wondered what else I was missing. It turned out Tutu had been awake the entire three months and her parents hid it from everyone. Even the teachers at the school knew about it. Why would they do such a thing? Why would they go through such an elaborate charade? I wonder what else I had wrong. I had to find out what Tutu knew.

It had now been two weeks since Tutu resumed school. Every now and then, our eyes will make contact. I’d hold that gaze for as long as possible, as if my life depended on it. I did not want her thinking I was some kind of coward. Every single time, she’d smile and look away and act like nothing happened. What was Tutu up to? Was she playing with me? Did she enjoy torturing me or was it all in my head. Everybody was always so nice to Tutu.

I could not decide if it was because of her parents’ wealth or if it was because they took pity on her or if it was because she was pretty. Tutu was very pretty. Maybe I did like her in some kind of way. But everything about Tutu is the reason why I can never allow myself to like her. I cannot afford to get distracted.
“Will you be my date to the prom?” a voice whispered from behind me.