Toilet Devotion

Skylar Kang

Toilet Devotion

Based on my experience on how to cook Jollof rice, for the first time I have prepared something other than Jollof. To start with, I went to see my aunt and to my surprise she prepared a good Jollof rice for me to eat. I was so happy as this is my favorite dish.

I sat down with my belt loose to empty the big bowl filled up to the brim. It was a surprise package as my aunt already knew my favorite dish was rice.

On a fateful day, I was given the same kind of rice to prepare but the worst happened. I was so perfect while preparing this kind of rice, but this day was something else.

To start with, I bought Vegetable oil (One bottle), pepper (fresh type) and tomatoes also fresh. I bought Maggi (one sachet of 24 cubes). Salt was in the house and I did not bother myself buying it. I also bought Jollof rice spices which will bring out the aroma and also five bobs of onion. I was to prepare five cups of rice. So, it goes this way….

My aunt was so prepared and happy to have given Mr. Know-how to cook this rice. Before now, I had told her about my cooking tactics when it comes to Jollof rice. I told her that I'm the best and would cook the most delicious kind of Jollof rice.

I began the process of cooking it.
First, I put the rice in the pot and allowed it to be prepared for a few minutes. After this stage, I dropped the rice and sieved it to remove the too much starch in it.

Second stage was to slice my onion. I sliced some so big while some were so tiny. The whole onion I bought was sliced.

I poured the vegetable oil into the pot. Remember that I bought a full Eva plastic bottle of vegetable oil. So, I poured almost all of it into the pot. It was allowed to steam for some time and I poured in my big bowl of sliced onions into the pot. I allowed it to boil for some time and poured my sliced tomatoes and peppers. It was allowed to boil for some time before I poured in cups of water. Now, it is time for the magic.

I poured the Jollof spice and followed by the Maggi. I poured twelve cubes of Maggi.

Do you know what happened? Passerby were perceiving the aroma and said to my Aunt hmmm…I can see that your house is booming with the fine aroma. When I heard that statement, I was just excited just because I have been praised.

Now, it's all prepared….the aroma as well as the face of the rice would make one feel hunger no matter what.

My aunt was ready to serve it and indeed she praised me for cooking this kind of rice but has not tasted it.

I told her that : please aunty, have the taste and you would praise me more.

After dishing it on a plate, she tasted it but could not say a word until she ate five spoons of the rice. The down part was swimming in vegetable oil. The taste looks too sweet just like normal sweet.

She kept on eating just because of the taste and could not drop her spoon. I was on one side praising myself for preparing this fine and delicious rice that hot everyone crazy.

The whole of us ate the rice conveniently without complaining, not until it was some minutes later. It was as if I had set the whole house ablaze and on the ocean toilet.

We were going to the toilet in batches. I could not believe that this is happening to the whole of us. We were all on queue just to the toilet route. I went to the toilet more than twelve times.

My aunt asked

How many Maggi did you use?

I answered her 12 cubes

She raised her voice in surprise

She asked again that

What was the quantity of vegetable oil you used?

I answered her, half of the big plastic Eva bottle.

She shouted and this time it was as loud as possible… You have killed us all…

The last born of the house raised an alarm, brother!!! You have finish us ooo. This rice you have prepared has brought the whole house into confusion.

I was ashamed of myself for being so confident to prepare Jollof rice which I could not….now I have turned out to be the cause of everyone going to the toilet.

First published on my hive blog