221020

Dear ABBY
My longtime girlfriend has male friends who visit her during the day while I am gone for about a week each month.
I know them, they are interesting people, and I'm OK with that.
She now has a friend who is a faith-based healer -- something she gravitates toward.
He lives three hours away, and when he visits, he stays overnight.
I met him recently.
He's there now while I am two states away.
He does hands-on healing with her and other people she introduces him to.
He goes in the water every day of the year, and now my girlfriend does, too, usually very early in the morning.
Presumably, they do this together while I am away.
Maybe he goes in naked; she would consider that natural.
She told me to not worry about the overnights and the hands-on healing because "he is a man of God." I told her it doesn't make any difference.
He is divorced and single.
Am I being a dope to let this happen without making a strong objection? -- Mystified in Maine
Dear Mystified
Because this woman is your "longtime" girlfriend, you have the right to make your feelings about the arrangement known.
If you weren't comfortable with the idea of her entertaining a divorced singe man overnight in your absence, you should have said so from the beginning.
Whether the two of them are sexually involved is beside the point.
If she cares about your feelings, she should respect them.
However, if she doesn't, then it may be time for you to find another girlfriend.